Sunday, December 11, 2005

Why the Eggroll or Dessert isn't appealing to Sunny

The idea of being disabled temporarily by chemo scares the bejesus out of Sunny. As much as in theory she has craved the role of the invalid (this is the truth, heard her talk about this in therapy - don't ask), the reality is not so appealing to her now (thank the goddesses, with and without husbands!). My mother has an extremely low tolerance for discomfort of any kind, I think it's related to her various and sundry mental disorders. It freaks her out entirely. I am talking being out of a particular kind of applesauce for a few days causes a level of discomfort that is barely acceptable. Physical discomfort is just beyond the pale (what does the phrase mean really and where did it come from?).

With the prospect of starting a job, I am kinda hoping even more that she doesn't opt for chemo because I have yet to perfect cloning myself and simply don't think I can fly cross country frequently enough to meet all the potential committments. Her oncologist is talking about starting the regimen on the 14th!! That's next frigging Wednesday! Sunny has not committed to doing the chemo, or if she does it, she hasn't committed to starting on that date. It's a process. I actually respect her process in this because I would hate for her to feel like this: Focusing by Jane Underwood. I totally understand how Jane got there, and I wouldn't want my mother to feel like that more than absolutely necessary.

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