Everytime I think I've figured out just enough coping skills, read that as ability to forget, around this nonsense, it knocks me out. Since yesterday afternoon I've been in this odd funk. I feel pulled into a bog that slows every step, warps my thinking - actually kind of ends it, and just makes me feel rotten.
I really feel bad The Girl Friend. I owe her a ton for putting up with me. I mean, jeez, I'm a moody bitch anyway, but these days, I'm surprised that she hasn't killed me yet. I'm thinking that the prospect of no sex is the only thing keeping me alive right now. Granted it is exceptional sex, so I figure I have enough good sex karma energy to keep me alive for, oh, say another 5 years of gloom. And that's without another orgasm for awhile. (No honey I am not saying there won't be, just that if there weren't any on the horizon.)
Anyway. I tried waking up for quite sometime before I actually hauled butt out of bed. Everytime I woke up at all, all I could think was "my mother is getting chemo today". It is the weirdest thing.
Normally I love being here in the Bay Area, but right now I can't stand that I can't drive home. It's never been the easiest thing, but right now it sucks so bad it physically hurts.
I need to make an effort to get in gear now, so I am off to address holiday cards.
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