I {heart} Rob Brezny

I just read my horoscope for this week and while I would have preferred to do without the rending of a dream, hope, etc that I have experienced, his words give me added hope.

Since Thursday late in the afternoon I have been at NCDC and it has exceeded my expectations and wishes that a change of scenery would do me good. It is a good community to dive into, lots of wonderful people, renewing connections, forming new ones. My heart has been touched, my body has felt powerful, my laughter has been plentiful.

Rob's words for this week:

What have you lost in recent months, Libra?
This week begins a phase when you will have the potential to not exactly
recover it, but rather to re-create it on a higher level. Maybe a dream that
seemed to unravel was simply undergoing a reconfiguration, and now
you're primed to give it a new and better form of expression. Maybe a
relationship that went astray was merely dying so it could get
resurrected, with more honesty and flexibility this time around.

The latest scoop

I know, I know. It's been a long time. NCDC camp was great, well except for people gettting sick, it ending, and things like that. I returned briefly to Berkeley - like for 36 hours or something ridiculous like that as I remember, staying again with Glamour Girl. I was fortunate enough to see Jennie for dinner one last time before I left - it's hard being far away from great friends.

Landing in NY on June 30th at night, I crashed with Greg & Janet for again about 36 hours before Greg and I left for a 4 day conference in New Jersey. After that, um. Work appointment. Dinner with a dear old friend who I will probably be sharing an apartment with come September - it's amazing how the universe work. I added him to an email asking for a place to crash for a few days in NY, not expecting an answer at all. Instead I connected with someone I haven't seen in a decade, having a fabulous dinner together and a likely home base come fall!

Had a new friend come to town for a great weekend visit where we went to the Salmagundi Club for a reception and to pick up Greg's painting that had been on display there. Also we hit Barefoot Boogie which I haven't been to in FOREVER. My good pal Michael Hayes was djing which was a treat. I haven't see him in about two years so it was really good to touch base a bit. Then I headed up to Croton to see Sunny and take care of car stuff. DMV's are such a lovely place, not. Lots of go rounds because my name is not identical on all my documents. Then the Purple Beast went to the shop for lots of repairs. Apparently as I suspected she was in major trouble and actually had been dangerous to drive. So glad she didn't fall apart when Lindsay and Sunny borrowed her.

Sunday Greg and I went to Coney Island to meet up with Janet and her friend Joseph. Had a lovely, leisurely dinner right on the boardwalk watching the surf. After that we had a long walk on the boardwalk and beach back to Joseph's car. And I do mean a LONG walk, 2 miles. If I were a good blogger I would upload the night photos I took.

Then last Sunday my laptop died, well became morbidly ill and I spend all of Monday choosing, buying, and getting data transferred. Bummer in some ways (like spending a ton of money!) but this new one is lovely. This caused a delay in my trip to the Jersey shore (which is where I am as I type) one day. It's been great fun hanging with my friend Deb and her daughters who are a delight. Yesterday we spent several hours on the beach which was really nice - haven't done that in years. Today was a lovely rainy, windy day. Tomorrow I head back to NYC. Saturday I go for the weekend back to Sunny's then back to NYC on Sunday until Thursday when I fly out of town again.

During all of this I have been working on loose ends for NCDC and toiling away for DNE which starts the evening of August 14th!!! Crazy. After camp I hope to spend a few days to a week in Northampton catching up with old friends before some settling down in Manhattan and more travels I'm sure.

So that's the news for now!

Let the dance begin

Thursday afternoon I was lucky enough to get a ride with a total stranger to camp. We had a nice drive to the Sierra Nevada mountains. It is a bit mind blowing to be in Fresno at about 400 feet above sea level and the next time you see a sign you're at about 1500. In increments of about 10 minutes while driving we were quickly at 2000, 3000, and 4000. The camp itself is at about 4500.

Unfortunately I foolishly thought it would be easy breezy to use my phone to get on the internet, now that this site has cell coverage - previously no carrier had a signal up here. I should have tested things and figured it out while still in Berkeley. An ounce of forethought would have saved me 17 tons of anxiety and I would not have lost 10 hours (at least!) of solid work time. Sleep was hard to come by, tossing and turning on the air mattress I gave up and was out of bed at 4am Friday morning. It was a total disaster and I was unable to work until Friday around 2pm, campers were to begin to check in at 4:30.

The upside is that I was able to work finally, no campers really noticed there was any snafu, and by Saturday evening by 7:30pm I had caught up on work for Dance New England for a delayed deadline. Napping in the late afternoon increased my productivity and my mood. Even better is that I got some dancing in the first night, and tonight. Tonight, even better than dancing was this lovely stretching session I had on the dance floor. Being in my body, stretching, with moving bodies, excellent music surrounding me is like a form of meditation. I didn't even realize how much I had gone to another place until I was done and rising from the floor. It is amazing to feel the body respond in such a short period of time; this gives me hope that I can get back to a greater level of flexibility if I just can do this consistently.

Tonight it so much colder, the temperatures started dropping around 6:30. It's funny I just looked up the actual weather and by my east coast dance camp standards it's ridiciously warm but quite some time ago I noticed how different one temperature can feel based on so many things. Tonight I think I will be wearing a hat as well as clothes while in my sleeping bag.

In general I feel comfortable here, comfortable here as a single person - when was the last time I was at a dance camp single?? Way longer than I want to acknowledge. This camp is about half the size of my other one which makes it sweet and contained. I think it's a good way for me to reintegrate into myself to where I am now in the world. It occurred to me that I have danced in four states since being on my own - New Paltz at the Frolic, twice; Dance Friday in Boston; Club Masque in Dayton; and now at NCDC. This is so much better a life style for me!

Tonight I was talking to a friend here at camp, someone who I really clicked with last year - almost like a sister I forgot I had or a childhood friend happily rediscovered - upon telling her that I left Ohio on the spring equinox she noted that we were at the summer solstice hence I have moved through a season. What a wonderful observation and what a season it has been! It is a little mind boggling to realize I have been on this new path for 3 months, literally and figuratively. I am feeling more inside, more in touch with myself and at the same time more expansive with my interactions with other people. This is all really good, and good to remember when the moments of sadness take over, when the doubt settles in and when the unmoored feeling disorients me.

Peace out!

In which our heroine embraces her gypsy spirit

There has been a lot that I have not been writing about, most prominently I have not been discussing the turmoil between Her Geekyness and me. We had to process, cry, laugh, and agonize a great deal; I felt that privacy was necessary so there was no mention of such things here, on twitter, or facebook, so please know I wasn't keeping anyone out so much as respecting the relationship. In the end we decided to separate. We both have things we need to work on, living together our baggage crashed against each other so that rather than enjoy and revel in our differences they began to bristle, leaving us raw.

Unlike what happens other places I will not be enumerating her faults, recounting she said/she said arguments. What I intend to do is talk about my patterns in relationship, areas where I think I need to do some examining and growth. I will also talk about my less esoteric journeys, starting now!

As many you know I love my neighborhood of South Park, but Dayton itself, and Ohio? Eh. I never felt at home so given the separation I decided to head east but I did not know where specifically. Again in an uncharacteristic move I wrote to my Dance New England community, to my GLBT Knit elist and a handful of friends far and wide asking for cheap housing in either the Boston area, Hudson Valley (New York), or Western Massachusetts. Given my work plans which mean I need to be in California in June and New Hampshire in August I wasn't looking for anything long term. The responses I received eveloped me in love and validated my choice to actually reach out rather than do something last minute and fume that no one cares (see? baggage). In the end I received offers of couches, guest rooms, crash space in about seven states.

After reviewing everything I decided a number of things, plus other things unfolded that are helping to shape the next few months. Being a jewish buddhist, flavored with neo-paganism I decided that I would leave on the Spring Equinox, today. This decision was made about a month ago. I will be staying in Saugerties New York until about the end of May when my friend is planning on moving to New Paltz. As it turns out I have been invited to a wedding back in Dayton for late May. Her Geekyness also started making plans as well - which include beginning a certification program that will make her even geekier (if that's possible!) and together we figured out a time that coincided with the wedding date and my California plans. This means I will return to Dayton for the wedding and stay through the beginning of June to take care of our babies while she is getting schooled down in Atlanta. I may head directly to California from Ohio. Or not. It's all open right now. Either way I will need to find another place to lay my head after NCDC's camp until DNE's camp. Oh yeah, and beyond that since I have no plans. Hell maybe I will see if Steven is still living in Thailand and go hang with him there in the fall.

My focus will be on being alone on purpose, writing, internal growth. For the next two months I will be able dance at the Frolic, or drive up to Northampton to dance (I can't link to Dance Spree since my system sees a trojan there, bummer), to see friends. I am hoping to spend at least part of Mother's day with Sunny since this is the first year in many that I can. Oh yeah, I need work. Or, um, send money folks if you want me to only dance, write and soul search!

love & rocket people!

It's me, it's you. Nope, it's me.

Various sources say different things about dreams - all the players are you, or all the players are someone, even if not the person they seem. I find that it is often a mix because quite frankly I usually prefer sex with others rather than by myself and I just can't see me turning me on that much, even in a dream. I will own that some of the scenarios are fantasies of mine but that is not the same as wanting to make love to myself.

Last night I had a hard time falling asleep, not uncommon, especially these days; but what is more uncommon is it felt like I had two separate dreams, interrupted by a period of wakefulness, that seemed like a part of one and two. At least I think there were really two dreams that fell on either side of lying awake analyzing the dream.

The dreams involved trying without any success, to reach my friend ACL. The dream was about her because I feel out of touch with her, though it's only been a few days since we had contact but I know this is going to be a common state. We met while at NCDC and connected very deeply, talking for hours at a time, dancing together and just being quiet. She's a busy woman and I hope to be, so this is all the way things are. Also life at camp, whether NCDC or DNE, is not real life and one can connect with people (like ACL and JE) very deeply but it is not a state that often is continued when one reenters the rest of their life.

It is also not about her at all but is about me. I had some absolutely deeply powerful times at camp and headed home with a desire to find time to at least attempt those states while in my "real" life. I wrote about the meditative states, the deep emotions that I allowed myself to sit with while there. What I didn't write about was how very often being at camp (apparently either one) I often feel more connected to my body. I eat better thanks to the amazing cooking of Charlie & Marion along with the rest of their cooks. I am outdoors more. My wardrobe is more me than it can be say tomorrow when I have a one-day temp stint at a medical facility where I think I will remove my nose ring or change it for a stud. But perhaps the biggest piece at camp is dancing. At NCDC I danced more at the evening boogies than usual. Even better was Wednesday night where I got to that place where I stop thinking about my lack of technique, stop bemoaning how much training has ebbed away, stop caring about what I look like and just move. Explore what my body can do, go deep inside and just flow, play. It was an amazing, amazing night for me. I danced so much my legs got wobbly. I danced so much I was high. Tired in that perfect way.

Since I have been back I have stretched, done some yoga and spent far too much time on tribe.net searching out links, events, anything to middle eastern dance more than any other subject. Sure I love middle eastern dance, but it's not all I want to do. I signed up for an essentially dead Hoop Ohio tribe in vain hope (something I want to learn). There are far too many yoga tribes for me to figure out where to go and I'm still not sure what I think of yoga. Perhaps I just need to find the right form of yoga. I did really like the place I went to in Brooklyn NY a million years ago. I desperately want more money flowing into Green Jay so we can catch up on bills but also so I can go DO things like this.

In The Women's Book of Creativity another chapter I recently read spoke of how to carve out time alone, for meditation. Of course she like so many others talk about a separate room, or a even a corner of a room. I am not sure how to designate such a space and I suspect part of my block of imagination is that I'm not sure how much I would use it so how can I claim such a piece of real estate in our home. Clearly this is an excuse because of course I can, the bigger question is will I use it and if I don't will I feel like I have failed. The true answer is I will use it occasionally in all likelihood and that any use is a success, non-use is simply an opportunity not taken but not failure.

So while my dreams were about missing a connection with a new friend, they were even more about worry about my connection to myself. I guess this makes this post meta-navel gazing - writing about a blog (a high tech form of n.g.) in which the entry is all about how I want to be a better me. Yeesh.

Shifting under my own feet

It's been a challenging day at home today. Felt out of sync with TGF on and off since getting home but we are working it out. Given our time apart and each of us having some epiphanies, it makes sense. We are working out new rhythms and it can be awkward.

The loose ends from NCDC are challenging me a great deal. There was a good deal of confusion and lack of clarity throughout - somewhat par for the course given we all were are on a steep learning curve. I am facing my perfectionism in that I know I did not do the best job I could have even with all that. Or maybe I did but it doesn't meet my expectations. There was a lot trying to be careful of their culture but maybe I didn't do it enough, perhaps I didn't push where I should have to move some things in a different direction. In the end they will tell me either "thanks but we are doing something different next year", or "let's give it another go". I have no control over that beyond the communication I have done throughout, up through today.

There is a stack of things to do for DNE, which starts in less than two months. I am struggling to keep a good flow of work and breaks. I sit in front of the computer and ponder what to do besides work and am not that motivated to surf, play on Facebook, or any number of things. This is good, it really is, but how to use the time instead leaves me feeling a bit adrift. Actually I have read two books (quick fiction reads) in the last week, blogged, did a bit of yoga yesterday morning (finally!), been walking Wyatt with TGF a lot which is nice. A perk of her not working right now is that we have that time together. Today we went to the library and I took out three books that I hadn't read/finished a few weeks ago, plus two totally new ones.

But the awkwardness of what to do with myself with those in between times, searching new patterns, trying to figure out what I want to do now that my old habits aren't working is not an easy state. I wouldn't trade it for all the world but it's itchy, uncomfortable, but also exciting. Antsy state of being. I am trying to view it as akin to a silk moth breaking free - it takes work but the wings will be beautiful!

Better, worse, the same

Okay all my friends in California have not deserted me though damn it felt like it for a bit there. Ruthie is picking me up from the airport, which is too delightful, as getting Ruthie Time is never easy. Still staying at Jennie's until I get to camp. Which I have no idea how that is happening. Almost had a ride but Owlswan is heading down on Wednesday and my friends have put together a potluck (you know, the holy lesbian gathering for all occasions) that night. Would have been nice. Oh well.

My mood rises and falls like the frigging bouncing ball of song. I can't believe that I'm leaving in 2 days for the left coast. Seeing friends will be great. It's a little exciting and also nerve wrecking getting prepped for this camp. The location sounds lovely. The lack of technology access is cool and daunting at the same time. No cell service, minimal access to dial up, which will be tricky since our database is web based. Did I mention no cell so conversing with my database guru is gonna be hard! Stress much? Also TGF and I are used to talking everyday when apart. That may not be possible which is just odd, not bad, just odd.

Did I mention TGF gave notice at her job? Yeah, and I won't be here to celebrate her last day. Oh and then there is the little matter of her needing to job hunt. So there is that as well.

I'm going to miss my knit groups, especially Sundays since that's kind of my baby. I will miss three Tuesday nights, and two Sunday - that's a lot of knitting chicks time gone.

Better stuff. Got my hair really cut this time unlike two months ago. Really like it. Still not absolutely perfect but SO much better. It seems like a silly thing but having "good" hair does make things better. Does everyone feel that way? Probably not but I bet more folks feel better in general if they feel like their hair looks good.

It's been really hot for a few days which has been a tad hellish. I am not used to that sort of weather after six years in the Bay Area. Today is much cooler, a bit rainy, kind of a sweet early summer day. I'm sure the heat will be back but I am going to enjoy my trip to the other coast where it should be more temperate.

Need to do laundry, pack, decide what knitting to take with me, make lists, work on getting DNE under control before I disappear for two weeks. I always feel like I need to clean the house, change the cat litter, grocery shop, and do all the laundry in the house before I leave so TGF has little to do. It's just not practical though, but I always try and stress myself. Crazy huh? Especially since even if I did it all, she still would need to do those things several times before I get home. But today I am succeeding in doing very little excepting eating everything that isn't nailed down.

Feel a bit sorry for myself and a bit lost

So I have been on this email list/community since 1996 or 1997. I took a break at some point for probably less than a year and rejoined in November 1999. Met a lot of folks from there, it saved my life when I first moved to California and it's how I met TGF. There have been many ups and downs over the years, however I am mostly not feeling connected to it for about a year now. It's been feeling a bit like I'm on the sidelines, jumping up and down, saying things like "Look over here! ", "I'm here too". Not pleasant.

The latest was that I wrote, about two weeks ago, on there that I was going to California and wanted to see folks. Not one of my friends/acquaintances from out there wrote me. Not.One. Two folks who have joined the list since I left the west coast have written me. Seriously. Yesterday I wrote the local smaller list, asking for a possible ride from the airport, jokingly asking if someone had a car they weren't using, and wrote "again I would love to see as many of you as I can". Nada. The silence has been deafening. I have tentative plans to stay with my good friend Jennie, which makes me SO happy but damn. You know? It's not like this is the first time I've written or had contact with most of these folks. I've only been gone about nine months by the time I fly out there but it feels so far away right now.

Seriously I think it may be time to leave but I have developed such connections with these folks. I've met probably about 30 people from this list that has hovered between 110-200 people in the last few years. That's a large percentage. Some I've never met but spoken to on the phone, or just because of the on and off list conversations consider them friends, worry about them, cheer them on, all that stuff. It's had to imagine my life before November 1999 (my first go round I was pretty silent on list and didn't really get to know folks). But I am feeling more than ever it might be time to say goodbye and it hurts like hell. However right now the bad/hurt place is louder than the fun/connected place.

The idea of leaving makes me feel really lonely. It makes me wonder if the bonds and friendships were all in my head, one-sided. All that good stuff. While I am building relationships, and starting what could be some fabulous friendships here in Ohio, the idea of being without this resource, this lifeline is scary and SO lonely. And it makes me question if I'm really the good person I think I am, or wonder if I have fucked up somehow and no one will tell me, or leads me to thoughts of "they were just putting up with me". Good times here this morning I tell you.

On top of all that I am deep in NCDC registration land, heading to camp on June 13th and it's all new there. It's not like going to DNE which is a lot like going home to welcoming arms. So I'm having anxiety about that, finding a ride down to camp and back again, where I'll stay in the Bay Area after camp, contemplating being away from TGF for two weeks where I will probably have limited contact because there isn't cell phone access at camp and they only have dial up.

Yep it's good times here in Dayton this morning. What the hell else can I feel anxious about?!? A zillion things but I don't want to drive away my three readers so I'll stop now. Maybe I'm just PMSing which makes all this feel bigger and more horrible than it really is. Yeah, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Wow it's been a long time!

So many days I thought of things to write, hoped to write but was busy, exhausted or otherwise unable to write. Sad, I know. No real excuse.

To catch things up I offer you tidbits.

I totally put off writing about Passover! Shame on me. We were invited to a neighbor's sedar - so cool. It was my first one since I left the east coast, far too long. The best brisket I have had in 20 years. Okay, granted I hardly eat the stuff but let me assure you it was supreme. It was fun, easy going. I wanted to write a whole piece about the difficulty I have going somewhere besides my family for this holiday but the time is long gone now. Oh well. Thanks Loni for a lovely evening.

My best friend Greg and his amazing wife Janet are leading an artist's tour in Morocco come fall. If only I drew and had the money I would SOOOOO go. I have an unreasonable draw to that country. These two have traveled extensively and are some of the most enthusiastic, positive, and creative people I know. They have the ability to find joy in the most mundane of locations or events in a way that lifts your spirits. If you are in New York, Greg is having a small show of some of his work at Tabla Rasa Gallery - go!

Yesterday was my last day at cubicle hell. My co-temp worker made it so much better as we had the best conversations. However unless we win the lottery I will probably head back there after I return from my California job. Speaking of that job, the learning curve with their new database, modeled after DNE's database which only launched last summer, has been steep. It's good beta testing for online registrations for DNE as that event is much bigger than NCDC's. Between cubicle hell, NCDC and very early DNE business life has been full.

I have lots of new yarns (well lots by my meager standards) and some updates on projects to show you but that requires taking photos and well between rainy days, being tired, and no batteries, that simply hasn't happened. But I have been knitting, never fear. In fact I began a local "Craft Night" at Night and Day Cafe. I posted information on Ravelry - you may have heard me mention that community once or ten times, as well on a neighborhood list. It has been a lovely blend of two communities that I love a lot. So if you craft anything vaguely portable, come on down - Sundays starting at 7:30pm.

Spring has been absolutely gorgeous and I took some photos about two or three weeks ago, but well they are still sitting on the camera so Have no idea if they are post worthy.

TGF has been struggling with her job. A lot. She is moving towards looking for something better and soon. Send good job juju her way, 'kay?

Oh a bit ago I wrote about beginning my doula business again and I met with my first potential client Thursday evening. Just getting that far is a bit thrilling you know?

I am still reading way more than I have in years (except for school reading, which well we won't discuss graduate school right now, alrighty?). Haven't touched The Woman's Book of Creativity for awhile (perhaps that's part of my blogging problem).
Spinning Straw into Gold has redeemed itself a bit, particularly the section on The Seal Wife. Perhaps this section has appealed to me because it's about, in part, life after child bearing and reclaiming identities that were put on hold during those years.
Stephanie Pearl-McPhee's Knitting Rules was quite good, as in enough to buy some day. Last week I borrowed Talk to the Hand - I am laughing out loud! I loved her first book, Eats, Shoots and Leaves. I am totally enjoying Lynne Truss's writing style, her values, and damn she is just so funny! Last week I began The Omnivore's Dilemma - wow is about all I can say at the moment. I am blown away by the takeover of corn.

I will make a commitment to try to be better at staying contact, I promise you my loyal three readers! There is still so much more to report.

Oh! I have to tell everyone this bit of news. My bbff (best blogging friend forever!), Jbeeky received the news that she can go receive her baby from Taiwan this summer! They should be home in August. So I have another child sweater in the planning stages. I swear I started crying when I read the post on the red eggs. Made TGF look at the photos Jbeeky's new daughter and she said "OMG I'm in love!". I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO want to meet them at the airport when they land back in California. Seriously folks. I know I've never met her, never even spoken to her on the phone, but I feel like I need to there.

Okay, now I am really going. Need to do laundry, walk the dog, and get ready for SEX at a closing LYS.

In which our herione waits for the phone to ring

I have been in this place many times, for many reasons. Since I contracted the Black Plague I had to delay my interview with Work Place Group, the temp agency that thought I couldn't possibly even be considered as a candidate because I had committed the ultimate heresy of working primarily for non-profits. Since my righteous indignation moment I have learned that particularly here in the middle of the country people seem to think that one doesn't work their ass off for non-profit and work they for free. Ha! But I digress.

Last Monday I dragged my drooping ass and ashen complexion (this was confirmed by my friend Lisa who's car I borrowed for said interview - Thanks honey! Way to bolster someone before their meeting with the Devil) to their offices for assessment testing and a brief interview/information meeting of what they provide. It was amazing I could focus enough on the screen to take quizzes on my knowledge base of Word and Excel, typing speed and keystroke speed. Luckily by their (clearly meager) standards I did quite well, though my wpm was truly sad by my standards. Just that morning they had a job come through that they believed was just up my alley. It is too, but it's temp to hire and I'm not sure I am ready to commit to anything (have I mentioned I have commitment issues? No? Well it's why I don't have a tattoo. Yet.) Plus there is that little detail of being out of town in June (NCDC) and August (DNE). We part ways with the knowledge that once my references check out (thank you Debbie!) and a conversation with the company, an interview will be forthcoming.

The call came to set up the interview, and with that call came the terror of dressing for a real interview. Work Place Group said, "dress business professional. A suit would be great." Um, people you have clearly not seen my closet. I have some things that pass well enough for some interviews but nothing that would really make it at that level. Hell I don't own any tailored pants! When TGF came home she kindly and patiently took me by the hand, led me upstairs to her closet. Aside from finding something quickly that would pass for "business professional" the best part was fitting into her pants - a size 10! Okay she burst my bubble a bit saying that this brand runs large as the size 12 (she just bought these) swam on her. But still, it delighted me.

Friday morning I took her to work, came home fluffed about just a tiny bit and changed into her clothes, heading out in plenty of time for my 10am interview. The place is close by, I could walk or bike to work if I wanted (1.2 miles away). The guy I met with was quite pleasant and it went really well. I definitely gave "good interview" that morning. So now I wait and see if I get an offer, which if I do leaves me in a bit of a pickle regarding my other commitments versus regular work. I am keeping my other commitments, clearly, but damn it would be nice to make some good money for awhile. However I am so not ready for the regular work force, I nearly passed out when he told me I would get 1 week vacation the first year, 2 the second and 3 after 5 years. 5 years? I have never worked 5 years straight anywhere. Okay I have been doing DNE for 8 years but it's not a forty-hours a week job, every frigging week. Being self employed for the last 11 years has totally spoiled me.

All of this has inspired me to get off my butt, work on a webpage and offer postpartum doula services (probably with some other "name") locally so I can work when I want or need to, and take vacations when I want to, when I can, and not be at the mercy of "permission". {shudder} Being an adult, well, it's not for me sometimes.

Another several bite the dust

So last week I received an email from a temp agency that said:

Unfortunately, we will not be able to assist you in your job search at this time. Your background does not fall within the required skill set of positions for which we typically recruit. We wish you the best of luck in your job search.

This is so patently ridiculous that I could not help myself from writing Ms. Sarah back and asking how that could possible be true given I have over a decade of experience doing clerical/administration/data entry/etc which is the primary area of their temp jobs. I have heard nothing back.

Also in my email last week was a rejection letter for a job I don't really remember applying to but I applied to so many in the last two or so weeks, it's quite possible this was one of them.

Last week I spent at least 45 minutes doing an online assessments for one job, followed the next day by an hour more of assessment testing at their facility. Again for a fairly basic and well within my competency range mid-level administrative job. Today I heard back that:

we will not be extending you an offer of employment at this time. We will retain your application on file for a period of one year.

Well bully, you know? I spent at least an hour, possibly more, today searching for jobs. Nothing of any real note and it was rather depressing. However it does seem that I have been hired for another job like my DNE gig but this one is in California. So I get to head to the west coast in June for a bit and I am hoping to see some friends in the Bay Area before or after heading south to the camp. Nowhere near as lucrative as DNE but it's still money. It's kind of funny. My second year doing DNE I moved to the west coast and I thought, well at least I'll get to the east coast once a year. If this other gig works out it will be my "at least once a year trip" to the west coast. I would get to still maintain my identity as a bi-coastal girl. Pretty cool, huh?