Friday, March 20, 2009

In which our heroine embraces her gypsy spirit

There has been a lot that I have not been writing about, most prominently I have not been discussing the turmoil between Her Geekyness and me. We had to process, cry, laugh, and agonize a great deal; I felt that privacy was necessary so there was no mention of such things here, on twitter, or facebook, so please know I wasn't keeping anyone out so much as respecting the relationship. In the end we decided to separate. We both have things we need to work on, living together our baggage crashed against each other so that rather than enjoy and revel in our differences they began to bristle, leaving us raw.

Unlike what happens other places I will not be enumerating her faults, recounting she said/she said arguments. What I intend to do is talk about my patterns in relationship, areas where I think I need to do some examining and growth. I will also talk about my less esoteric journeys, starting now!

As many you know I love my neighborhood of South Park, but Dayton itself, and Ohio? Eh. I never felt at home so given the separation I decided to head east but I did not know where specifically. Again in an uncharacteristic move I wrote to my Dance New England community, to my GLBT Knit elist and a handful of friends far and wide asking for cheap housing in either the Boston area, Hudson Valley (New York), or Western Massachusetts.
Given my work plans which mean I need to be in California in June and New Hampshire in August I wasn't looking for anything long term. The responses I received eveloped me in love and validated my choice to actually reach out rather than do something last minute and fume that no one cares (see? baggage). In the end I received offers of couches, guest rooms, crash space in about seven states.

After reviewing everything I decided a number of things, plus other things unfolded that are helping to shape the next few months. Being a jewish buddhist, flavored with neo-paganism I decided that I would leave on the Spring Equinox, today. This decision was made about a month ago. I will be staying in Saugerties New York until about the end of May when my friend is planning on moving to New Paltz. As it turns out I have been invited to a wedding back in Dayton for late May. Her Geekyness also started making plans as well - which include beginning a certification program that will make her even geekier (if that's possible!) and together we figured out a time that coincided with the wedding date and my California plans. This means I will return to Dayton for the wedding and stay through the beginning of June to take care of our babies while she is getting schooled down in Atlanta. I may head directly to California from Ohio. Or not. It's all open right now. Either way I will need to find another place to lay my head after NCDC's camp until DNE's camp. Oh yeah, and beyond that since I have no plans. Hell maybe I will see if Steven is still living in Thailand and go hang with him there in the fall.

My focus will be on being alone on purpose, writing, internal growth. For the next two months I will be able dance at the Frolic, or drive up to Northampton to dance (I can't link to Dance Spree since my system sees a trojan there, bummer), to see friends. I am hoping to spend at least part of Mother's day with Sunny since this is the first year in many that I can. Oh yeah, I need work. Or, um, send money folks if you want me to only dance, write and soul search!

love & rocket people!


LittleWit said...

I hope your traveling brings about the answers you are looking for. Good luck with it all and you can always call. :) Hopefully we can get together the next time you pass through.

Andi said...

Sorry we couldn't get together again before you hit the road. Safe travels... See you in May.

heather said...

wow. sounds like a very adult (and i mean that in the best sense possible) split. i doubt you'll be headed my way but if you do, please gimme a holler. glad to hear you have lots of places to land!! and best wishes for the both of you, since it sounds like this is what you both felt was right.

Lisa said...

You have a place to crash in TX should you find yourself for the journey you are about to take, you know that you have been given all the skills you need to make the journey. Should you need "help" along the way, I am only an email away and I have grown some strong shoulders as of safe and stay strong!