Sad Sex

So yesterday, as often on weekday afternoons, I was watching Charmed. Yes I confess, I am a huge fan and watch the episodes over and over. Every once in awhile I catch on, particularly from the early Pru years that I missed. I can't imagine that there are any I haven't seen but every once in a while... I digress.

It's the episode where Piper and Leo get trapped in that nether world, the way station between life and death. While there they sadly reflect on their relationship and the stresses. From there an intimate moment develops which creates the next offspring. As with other times, in other movies, and television shows grief in particular but often great sadness turns to great passion. I have never.ever.experienced this. Is something wrong with me? I suspect not. I suspect it's a bizarre plot to further confuse the emotional life of people in these united states.

I have had moments of great grief but never has a tearful moment led to tender sex. Perhaps it's because tender, gentle sex is not my mainstay. Of course sometimes the image is of passionate, wild sex but again, never in my life. I consider myself a pretty passionate person but never does a trip down the path of grief lead to lovemaking. Is it me? I swear half the time I see this sort of thing on television I wonder if it's real, or is it more of the prince charming syndrome? On soap operas (yes I watch those too) these people never seem to have to struggle to find a baby sitter for great nights out, no kid ever walks in as they're about to get down to business. I know, I know, this stuff is created as an escape but it's such an unrealistic image of real adult life and kids watch this stuff! Between soap operas starting at age 11 and reading Cosmo by age 14 I was seriously unprepared for the real world! I feel like I should be able to sue someone - you know like the line from Dennis Leary's stand up routine when he asks about suing James Taylor for turning him into a pussy and thus not getting laid during the 70's.

Seriously had I known then what I know now about images and sex, my god, would my life be different. Who knew Audra Barkley was wearing hairpieces and false eyelashes? And that Victoria Barkley was shot with vaseline on the lens and had already probably had a face lift in the 60's, and Heath was wearing a girdle? Watching it a repeat in afternoons I certainly had no idea. All I knew was as thick as my hair was, I could never make it look like Audra.

Lately on All My Children (hush now!) Kendall and her husband Zach have been having sex practically everyday. Now of course this probably to cover her guilt at having sad sex with an ex (Aiden). Kendall and Aiden were grieving the disappearance of their mates and in a fit of immense grief that they were actually dead, they had sex. See how it works? Again, another thing I don't do, have sex because I feel guilty about something I've done, not done, whatever.

Grief and guilt are just not aphrodisiacs for me.

Perhaps the solution is to stop watching television. Yeah, that'll happen. Not.