Friday, November 09, 2012

How to tell you are an overtired intern

Easy for me to know that I am. Today I slept in a just a bit, still plenty of time to make my meeting. Ran out of the apartment to drive, parked my car, dashed over to purchase coffee, briskly walked back and up the stairs....

Only to find no one else there. Looking around the room, I remembered the last words of my supervisor as I left at 7:30pm, "See you next week, Dharma."  Dammit all to hell. Came back home, checked my google calendar. Yep, I was the only one on the group calendar that had the meeting list. Argh.

I finally had a Friday with no burning deadlines, unless I was to head to Western Massachusetts for a visioning meeting and I unnecessarily stressed. I might need a vacation.
The other day, feeling very tired, I said to my sweetheart, "I can sleep when I'm dead, right? Or after I graduate, whichever comes first."  I long for several days of good sleep. Lately I have had very stressed filled dreams, more waking, and simply being tired most of the time. This morning's last dream was me trying to drag myself to class, and debating what was the worst that could happen if I missed just this one time. I was arguing the risks of not going, despite being on top of my work (which in waking like I.AM.NOT!), and that it was likely I wouldn't really miss that much - but what if today was THE day when it would be crucial. See? Even sleeping I can't stop working, worrying, second guessing myself.

I so need some time off.

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