Monday, November 12, 2012

Cannot shut down

Today my body said, loudly, emphatically, "NAP". So I did, but I should have woken sooner. My brain and I have this habit of having dreams, waking but refusing to actually get up, which leaves me falling back to sleep and having dreams which make me wish I had simply leapt out bed earlier and giving up on more sleep.

In this afternoon's dream I was living in an apartment, dorm type thing. Somehow my apartment turned into some kind open invite place, music blasting into the halls. But I wasn't making the music happen, though it had started on my computer. Or something like that. It was feeling a bit out of control, two men in my apartment, where there was some kind of "this could be an unsafe situation" vibe that I got under control relatively easily in getting them to leave without much effort. My roommate came into the apartment saying the landlord had spoken to her about the music and how I needed to get it under control; to which I said "but I didn't do it, I don't have the equipment to produce this noise". Still and all I went to my laptop and proceeded to try to shut it off, which I sort of did but then the computer kept playing different channels, like a tv, whenever I finally succeeded in shutting off one program there was yet another one playing. It took forever to shut off a given channel and there was always at least another one on.

Upon waking, I thought, the laptop with all the noise and channels is like my brain. I have so much trouble "shutting it down" enough to sleep. How bad is it to have a dream about how hard it is to let go, which is the very thing you fight with every time you try to sleep and hope for restful dreams? Ugh!

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