Our kitchen table this morning before all the cooking began. BC knows I really like fresh flowers so she picked these up when we shopped yesterday for today's feast.
Last night I set up three prep areas for four of the dishes I would be making. Here is an example of one of the areas.
It was a day of trying new recipes. Below is a shot of the Sweet Potato Biscuits from Cooks Country. If I had paid better attention the bottoms would not have go
tten a bit charred and the would have been perfect; still they were quite tasty.
Today I made my first roast pork loin, another recipe from Cooks Country and I have to say it was really tasty. The sauce recipe seemed a bit odd but was really good and proved a lovely counter point for the meat.
Along with this I made mashed potatoes, roasted brussel sprouts with pecans, and apple crisp. The Kid brought home a small apple pie she made at her other mom's house when she came up this morning.
It was lovely cooking at a non-hurried pace, with BC helping, keeping the dishes from building up, chatting with me, and setting up my external music drive so I could have tunes while I zoomed around the kitchen.
When we sat down to eat I asked that we each share something we are grateful for this thanksgiving. It is hard to say strongly enough how grateful I am for my friends and family. This year I learned how much love and support I truly have; it blows me away. This time last my life was so different. Eight months ago I had no idea where I would be on so many planes. I love all the roads I have traveled during this gypsy nomad phase. While I keep waiting for the shoe to drop, the reality is things with BC are so deeply wonderful and mostly so easy. Having The Kid in my world is also a blessing, even or perhaps especially when it's challenging. I am grateful for how much I have learned, how much I continuing to open myself to, how much more I feel.
*For those keeping track, I did not overeat and I did hit the treadmill for 3.4 miles before cooking for 5 hours. Up to 10 miles for the week so far. I am even tentatively wondering what my next goal will be once I return from Utah and I will be making a to do list this weekend with dates of completion preplanned.
When last we left our heroine...
Ah yes, in New Hampshire at the 'sense of place' event at Camp Glenbrook, which was lovely and a bit inspiring. That was the last time I blogged, after an embarrassing long absence from the activity. It was the first time since, if I recall correctly, that I had real time alone since May. Later that day I took a workshop with Erica Wheeler on writing and actually did the writing prompts. This is a bit miraculous as I rebel against instructions often, it's a long history but this time I thought what the hell - soak up the atmosphere. The first prompt was "what is true for me today":
I am whole, at peace with being quiet. What is true is being honest with myself and others. Honest different from truth. What I need to know about me may be different from the story of me I tell someone today, tomorrow, forever. Or not. I feel I am on a path to liking myself more, more completely than ever. It is a scary road because I have traits and behaviors that I do not love or even like but they are separate from the whole, only a muted color that I can make stand out or step back in view, this is important. I can choose what I present, I can choose to make it bigger or smaller. I can choose to accept it and move on.
After the workshop I showered, nap, sat in the glorious silence. After all of that I walked to another porch, sat on a chair and wrote in my journal. A huge day of writing for me. There a lot of interesting talks, beautiful views, and great food during this weekend. It was hard to feel inferior, or like a poser among all these folks who were steeped in their passions but I worked on my internal tapes, remembering that all of us make the colors we see in the world. On Sunday I drove all of us back to Brooklyn, unloaded a vehicle full of art, sleeping bags, and clothing. The next day I drove up to Sunny's and hung loose for the next several days.
Months of failed attempts were finally rectified by driving to Dobbs Ferry to meet an online friend in person. Since my move I have had two books to give to Jeri Riggs, a gifted quilter, someone I know from my glbt knit list. Her site (linked above) only gives you the barest sense of her quilts - in person they are beyond amazing. I am in love. In addition to quilting the woman is a mad talented knitter, if she wasn't so lovely it might be easy to hate someone who just drips with talents.
Later that day I took a long and lovely drive to check out a house share near the Ashokan Reservoir. It was not a match, we shall leave it at that, which is a bit of a bummer because having a place to set a bunch of my belongings, to return to, a room with a door, the ability to be alone once in a while, would be so nice. Sunday the 27th I traveled down to NYC again to housesit for Greg and Janet while they taught painting at Fire Island. On Wednesday I ran back up to Croton to prepare for a busy weekend.
Thursday BC (my sweetheart) flew into town. She was so excited she gave my birthday gifts in the car even though my birthday was the next day. Let me say this, BC is thoughtful, pays careful attention, and is generous. We then met the 'rents for lunch. It was a first meeting and I think it went well. She found Sunny (my mother) adorable, which luckily is a common assessment. After lunch we headed to Cape Cod to spend a lovely evening in West Harwich, staying at the Commodore, partaking of a nice dinner at The Ocean House. Friday we leisurely drove up to Wellfleet to meet up with Abby, my oldest friend. Ken, Abby's father, past away in August and a bunch of us came up to share a house for the weekend and to attend the memorial service. The weekend was fun, sad, nostalgic and romantic by turns. I cried a fair amount at the service, no surprise there. It was good to see Abby and catch up just a small bit - it's been four years since we saw each other, we hadn't had a conversation since January.
Sunday afternoon BC and I drove to Boston. We had a tourist type of blast during our short stay - wandered Fauneuil Hall and after my experience at Abercrombie & Finch I'd say I'm unlikely to shop there again, but I adore the shirt I got there. We had a delicious and romantic dinner at Ristorante Limoncello, and I introduced her to Emack and Bolio's ice cream, a place I've known about for about twenty something years but haven't been to in forever! If you are near one, run don't walk.
Monday morning, early I took BC to Logan; I then headed back to Croton to have a bite to eat and nap before Sunny and I headed into Manhattan to see Hair on Broadway. Yes, yes, I know I suck. It was fabulous. They were having a Monday night performance, a night Broadway is traditionally dark so the cast could attend the Equity March on Washington - how cool is that? I saw the original as a child and you know what, it's still great. It has been forever since I listened to the music but somewhere during act one I realized than really none of the lyrics had faded from my memory and I thought, "This is my version of Christmas carols, they are ingrained in my soul". Seeing some members of the cast crying during the moving closing numbers tugged at my heart even more. We came home tired but happy.
Okay that almost catches things up so I think I will stop right now before I bore you all to tears with my nonstop bouncing around the northeast. The next post will have photos I think, how exciting is that! Soon there may be an entry about yarn - Greg, stop yawning!
humbly reported by your modern nomad, Dharma
So remember Monday, when I couldn't drag myself out for baking soda? Today, totally different. Cleaned up the kitchen, took a shower, and dealt with laundry first thing out.
Gemma had a recheck appointment at the vet today and from there I went in search of some needles I need to work on the arms for TGF's sweater. After that I popped in on my nephew Cody for a bit. He asked me to play a computer game with him. It was called Tanks, or something like that. Ah found it. Of course I totally sucked and he whooped me in like 3 moves the first time. The second we actually battled a bit. When I told TGF that I played essentially a war game her response was, "how the mighty have fallen". What can I say.
Thanks to something the Code-Man said I remembered to run to Dorothy Lane Market to pick up stuffing that TGF wants for tomorrow. This place is incredible, very much like a Whole Paycheck place but this one, which is quite close to us, is open 24 hours a day. 24! Wow.
Upon arriving home I finally ate something because I hadn't yet. Then I got cooking. Seriously cooking. First I present the much delayed banana bread.
Next began the apple crisp. Now I wasn't asked to make a dessert for to
morrow but how can I possibly attend my first thanksgiving dinner with my in-laws and not make something. TGF is making her version of 7-Layer Salad which is Midwest Heart Attack Salad with it's bacon and Miracle Wh*p. My apple crisp was one of the first things I ever made TGF and she loved it proclaiming it almost as good as sex. If you know TGF there is little that can come close to having the same ranking as sex. Yes it's that good.
Finally I tackled the roast chicken leftovers from the other night. I had some random ideas when quite by chance I clicked on a site that got posted to a li
st I'm on for a macaroni and cheese recipe. From there I wondered onto the rest of the blog and found this really simple homestyle chicken and biscuit recipe where I could use the chicken, some frozen veggies, a condensed soup (something that before TGF never lived in my pantry), and a package of those biscuits in a can (again never bought those before her). All things I already had, not thought needed. It was easily breezy and TGF had two helpings.
A very successful evening in the kitchen.
A few weeks ago, on the same day two books came to me, both reflecting passions of mine. Really.
I give your my studious, loves to debate side:
No I haven't read any of it yet but it is on my very long list of books I really want to dive into on this and related subjects. I acquired this through a friend who was cleaning out to move.
That same day while I was assisting at her garage sale, my love bought home this sweet book for me.
It's true I adore pin-up art. Seriously. My checks have four designs by George Petty on them and the cover is embroidered with a glorious woman. The new versions of these checks do not thrill me (different artist) and luckily I am not out of checks yet. I just scratch out my old address. That won't work for much longer as I will be in another state soon so my hunt for great new checks will begin anew. When Jennie first saw my checks a few years ago she looked at them, looked at me, looked at them again, and said, "You're not the average lesbian, are you?" Apparently not.
One year for my birthday my then sweetheart got me a leather miniskirt and a sawzall. Both thrilled me though it's true what with owning a home and fluctuating weight the saw has seen more use.
Truthfully I loke that I have more than one side, that some of my interest surprise people. TGF was initially quite surprised that adore old Bond movies, but I do. I can (and do) watch them over and over. Sean Connery, seriously the best Bond ever, though Pierce Brosnan gives him a serious run for his money. Many "date movies" bore me though every once in awhile.... Of course I can't think of one that fits that bill right now.
I love restaurants like, Aureole, where TGF went on our first date (Yes we traveled to meet in person, to Vegas. It was a several day, luxurious "first date".) At the same time I really dig finding cool diners (been there too) and eating "old school" food.
So that's a little bit of me and the supposed dichotomies that exist in this person.
This month has seen a lot of gathering with friends.
Early in the month we got together with Sue and Sarah to celebrate their son, The Miracle Man who turned 20. Twenty! How the hell did that happen? I can still remember the first time I met Miracle Man, at a "moms" gathering in early February 2002, just a few months after I moved to the west coast. MM the most amazing sense of comic timing featuring awesome dry humour.
Right before they were supposed to meet us at Casa de Cedar, I was meeting some folks from my knit list, including Joy who lives in India. Dana brought one of her foster kittens who I had lying on my chest for at least 30 minutes soaking in the kitty love. Due to various confluences we went met up at Zachary's for dinner. In a rather freakish turn of events the power in a wide swatch of Berkeley went out so we purchased some semi-baked pies and retreated to our house for a lovely super casual dinner.
A Tuesday early in the month we went over to Jennie's. TGF set her up with wireless while I helped her clear through some stuff so she could rearrange her furniture. It was really fun. No I am not a virgo but I do love organizing and tossing things, mine stuff, other people's doesn't matter - it's all fun to me.
Then Sue spearheaded a "BAMS" meet up on a Thursday night, thinking we were leaving soon. We met at a great Greek restaurant, Cafe Vasiliki, the red snapper was great. Sue, Sarah, Miracle Man, 'Zaye; Jennie & G-Man; the Fabulous Ruthie B; Liz, Andrea and the Perfect Val with their friend Ellaine; Cynthia with her gorgeous son Ben. The last time we had seen Cynthia she was pregnant with Ben - he's two! How did that happen? Of course I feel bad because we are not leaving immediately and this was thrown together as the first of some good-bye events.
'Zaye turned three, so another lovely hanging out with Sue and Sarah at the Big Blue House (really that's the nickname for their place, I swear). It was a lovely afternoon and a fabulous pizza place (see a theme here?), Pizz'a Chicago.
This week has been a buzz of social things, not quite all of them fun. Tuesday afternoon we went over to see the Landlady of Perpetual Patience to give notice on Casa de Cedar and tell her of our plans to take care of our debt to her. (Seriously folks we are going to be paying on this place for at least a year after we leave.) It was a very teary event for me. On the spur of the moment Jennie sent out an invite for dinner but apparently I am the only truly spontaneous one, which was great for me - time with Jennie!
Wednesday I had my board meeting for BirthWays where I had to inform them that I was moving away. Afterwards I ran off to Skates to meet Glamour Girl, who was in town, with her beau (who is local) for drinks. Way too much fun was had by all of us.
Thursday TGF and I drove down to Hayward to meet Sally, from my glbt knit list, who was in town from Virginia with her housemate Amanda. I had met them back in January the last time they were out west. I had picked that area as a halfway point between us and located a restaurant. We were all surprised to see that a very loud street fair was happening that night with a band right outside the restaurant I had chosen. We switched things up and went around the corner for some Japanese at Akaihana and chatted up a storm.
Glamour Girl had some time on Friday so we wandered in and out of stores on Fourth Street in Berkeley and had a lovely lunch at O Chame, a place I had yet to visit. She has had some less than stellar health news this week so we spent a lot of time talking about the "what ifs" and "what things might look like". I hope this all resolves itself quickly and without too much fuss or bother for her.
Yesterday, hm, what did we do yesterday. I would guess not much. Today we went to the Pride March (I just can't get used to calling it a "parade"), which was a fun thing to do since who knows when we might be here for it again. I may write more about various thoughts and dialogues we had about this thing.
This week is looking a bit quieter but I would have said the same thing about last week before I knew better.
TGF has been in the dumps a bit of late and was very much not in the spirit of things birthday-ish. A few days before the actual birthday (which was on Thursday) she spoke about how she didn't even want to celebrate. Can you imagine how that pulled at our heroine's heart strings? Given my "in debt up to my eyeballs and no work on the horizon" graduate student reality I had no funds to whisk her off to the Bellagio, or even up to a cabin on the Mendocino coast. So what's a sweetie to do? Evidently throw together a surprise gathering on four days notice, that's what!
An email was sent to a pile of people who, oh my god have lives and thus, were not available, but fortunately some were. Whew number one.
Many emails then went back and forth deciding when and where. Together we came up with a potluck at our place, great for my budget. Whew number two.
On the premise that the house was getting to me, especially if I was to be finally taking my vacation from the neverending thoughts of "I ought to be doing school work RIGHT NOW" I cleaned the house on Saturday. However not manically (though TGF kept checking if I were feeling alright. Sheesh, one would think I never clean. So not true. I even took random breaks to check email (needing to check on my peeps!) and winding yarn which was totally not related to cleaning with the vain hope it would throw her off track. House got rather tidy. Whew number three.
While checking emails it becomes clear that our friends would be coming through with awesome eats meaning I didn't have to also profess to get caught by the cooking bug as well. Whew number four.
Before leaving to do the dog walk thing she mentions something about having a "date" when we return. I reply enthusiastically but wonder how I will wiggle this out - the timing has to be just so! During our duskish walk with Ruth and Piccolo (who were both in on this plan), Ruth begged off a little early. Excellent, as TGF wanted to stop for pet food on the way home. However she also wanted to stop for a Mt. Dew and a pack of cigs. Obsessively through these adventures I am checking the time. Okay if we finish now we will get home in time for her to go out back for her sin stick before Wyatt (who always goes out with her) might smell or spy Piccolo. On the way home her stomach growls prompting her to ask about dinner options. Casually I say, Oh I'll come up with something, and now I can say if pressed let's eat before "retiring to the bedroom". Whew number five.
While biding my time at the house, after the errands my cell rings. As I rush to grab it I am trying to figure where she is, hoping she didn't hear it. Sue and Sarah checking in to say they will be a little late. I push Sarah off the phone quickly with a series of "it's fine. no problem. alright then" comments. Shortly after we are both on the couch when I get a text message. Dammit all to hell! It's Jennie asking if they can come in early because her son needs the bathroom. Quickly I punch in "yes". For some odd reason TGF doesn't really acknowledge this activity. Whew number six.
A few short minutes later there is a knock at the door. I pull out the "Oh, are you stopping on your way through" line (since this happened while TGF was out of town I figured it might work to divert attention). "Oh, yes. G really needs to use the bathroom, if you don't mind." TGF hasn't seen our Ms. Jennie is quite sometime and is surprised to see her but happy. So taken aback in fact that she doesn't realize that Jennie has put two bags of junk food on the dining table. We all stand around talking in the living room. When there is another knock on the door, I tell TGF to get it. It's Ruth, with Piccolo bearing cake and bbq. At was at this point that she figured out something was going on. Sue and Sarah arrived a bit later with KFC (another favorite of TGF - her friends really do know her!), an enormous bouquet of balloons, and themed party things (plates, table cloth, party hats and more!). The theme? Elmo of course! Fabulous. On the even later side (hey these are our friends and it's how they roll!) Liz and Andrea came bearing a box of Kr*spy Kremes. Totally awesome.
TGF seems very pleased. Whew number seven.
This morning as I walked into the dining room the sight of the Elmo table cloth brought quite the smile to my face. However, I will never again...wait, never say never is the rule isn't it? I am unlikely to try to pull off a surprise party on such short notice again.
I do not get tagged often to participate in the "memes" that prosper like tribbles in blogsphere. The fact that the misappropriation of the term meme rankles me probably forms a firewall as it were from people volunteering me to this sport too often.
Meme was a new word to me quite sometime ago and since reading Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihali (which I will have to reread since I never wrote the damned paper) I find it hard to have the word misrepresented because that's just how I roll. It's not that I am deeply attached to Mihaly's work, though check back with me in early March, my opinion may have changed. I cannot recall how I processed the role and definition of memes but I clearly remember that calling all these fun but often inane quiz like creations was heresy (favorite word thing). In doing a quick search I did come up with discussions here and here that do seem to lend some air of credibility to this blog culture phenomena though it still seems like watching F*x show rather than PBS to suggest that what happens in the blog world really has any relation to the essential place of memes as a cultural gene.
But you know it's good to come down from on high once and awhile, thus I present a list of five things you might not know about me.
1. In fifth grade I played a pilot in some sort of school play skit thing. Given my propensity to melt into a puddle of shy this was quite the feat. I have no recollection of how I managed to even think about it let alone get on the stage at P.S. 29's auditorium. I think I had one line.
2. The second and last time I submitted a poem for consideration for an anthology collection I received a hand written note on the form letter saying "thanks but no" from Leslea Newman saying she liked my work but it didn't quite fit the overall theme.
3. For a brief period of time I lived in a convent. Yes, a radical lesbian buddhist jew in a convent. It was, what you might describe as, decommissioned. The school and the church were still functional - Holy Cross Roman Catholic Church. The chapel inside the convent was the television room littered with a few leftover pews - the rest of the pews were in the basement. It was here that I first saw MTV where a corn-fed red haired young woman proclaimed her undying love for Michael Jackson. This is one of the tamer memories I have of this place.
4. Though I finished my coursework for my undergrad degree in just over four years it took, er, another 5 or so years before I filed for my degree because I was sure I didn't have everything I needed. With the helpful and incredible leg work of my sister who lived in NYC while I was in Massachusetts, courses were renumbered, credits distributed across the forms, papers were signed. On record I have a dual major in comparative religion and women studies, off the record I had a minor in psychology and almost enough credits for another minor in what was then called Black & Puerto Rican Studies. It is apparently now titled "Department of Africana and Puerto Rican/Latino Studies. Now that is a mouthful! As usual my fear and procrastination were all for naught all was fine and I finally officially had a BA in a relatively useless assortment of topics.
5. Years ago a client told me I had a zen approach to food because I shared that every so often I try foods I do not like to see if my taste has changed. The fact that I didn't like squash five years ago does not mean I will not like it now. Because of this approach I no longer claim to hate olives, beets, squash, or sweet potatoes. None of these foods are great loves, though I do make a great spiced squash soup that TGF won't touch, but Jennie found tasty. The other day at my school conference I ate my first over easy egg, maybe ever. Just the idea of a runny yolk, {shivers}. It was okay, I needed protein, there was toast and such to help balance out the texture and taste. I survived but I don't think I will be ordering them any time soon however it makes huevos rancheros an option when getting breakfast out.
So there's five more things about me. If you enjoyed this post, or were utterly bored please blame my dear friend Swamp Girl. Actually this was a good exercise. Hm, I may have to rethink my position on this meme thing.
Oh yeah, I am supposed to tag some folks because that's how this things blooms, grows, takes a life of it own and all that.
1. Bitter Betty, love ya hon! You owe me drinks next time you're in town
2. Breena, I really have to catch up on your blog.
3. Jbeeky, because I am sure, as in totally positive, you have some good ones.
4. Rabbitch because ditto
5. Susie Bright because wouldn't that be a trip if she read my blog and did the meme!?!?! Can't you just see Susie and me being friendly like that? No? Shoot.
Have been very busy somehow. Usually when left to my own devices I tend to stay home a lot and play up my hermit tendencies but somehow that hasn't happened during TGF's absence. TGF left very early Wednesday morning, after which I spent way too many hours untangling yarn until Friday night as recounted in the last entry. But aside from that what I have been doing? Darn good question. At this point I cannot remember much about Wednesday other than fighting with fiber, staying up way too late, and taking Wyatt to the dog park. Oh, yes at the dog park we met up with another pal of Wyatt's, Rue - a perfectly adorable vizsla and had a great chat with her owner, Kurt. In fact Wyatt met up with a number of his favorite females - Cece, Remy (I think that's her name), and Cassie as well.
Thursday I once again had to get up at an ungodly hour, well for me anyway, since I had to be in 45 miles east of home at 8:30 a.m. for a meeting involving my client. Of course there was a trip to the dog park. Later, group supervision up in Richmond. Needless to say I was a bit done in by that point so no hopping over to the bar.
In a quest to stop using vaguely illicit means to garner asthma meds, and to put Sunny's mind at ease (you try having a mother who is a bit of a hypochondriac and see how well she handles the information that you have no provider, haven't had a physical in a couple of years, and using less than legal practices to get medications) I had an appointment to do an intake for sliding scale medical care. From there I had to pick up my laptop baby, Lotus. I'm sure there was more, oh yes, the dog park (see a theme here?). Followed by more meditations with yarn.
Saturday I had an unexpected visit with someone from my GLBT knit list. For some reason I thought Sally's visit was next month but lo and behold it was this past weekend. She was visiting from Virginia with her good friend and housemate Amanda. We met up at Lacis which is an incredible place. I went there once soon after moving here and was overwhelmed with the books, needles, buttons, beads, displays, just everything. Unfortunately their website conveys NOTHING of the magic of this place. If you have have the vaguest interest in after fiber crafts (especially tatting), costume design, or a million other things visit this place. Really. Of course I wandered off to the knitting books and there were an armful of books I could have walked off had I the cash and bookshelf space. Of course I had to purchase something. Right? It is the cutest book, Monkeysuits: Sweaters & More to Knit for Kids. Really cute, clever patterns with great names like "Shrinking Violet", "Stripe it Rich", and "Tweedy Pie". A number of these are likely to find there way to T'Mane's closet.
From there we caught a bit to eat and had the most wonderful chat over yummy food. Sally was lovely and gracious, Amanda just so sweet! In addition to wonderful company Sally gifted me with some yarn - so unexpected. Almost right after I got home, or so it seemed, it was time to meet Ruth at the dog park where we had a lovely sunset walk. Nestled back at home I thought I had a quiet, silent night at home when there was a knock at the door and surprise it was Jennie with Graham on their way to Target. So I had a chance to offer her one of the hanks of yarn I received from Sally and a lovely spontaneous visit and shopping trip.
Sunday was a big day for Jennie's family as it was Graham's baptism day. So off to Alameda I cruised for the church service and then a number of us went out to eat some brunch. The baptism service was really lovely though I found the sermon itself a little off, somehow missing the peaks that could have been there. Lunch was great fun as I spent a lot of time chatting with new acquaintances Susan and Linda. However the high point may have been watching Kyle (Jennie's sweetie) teach Katie, who is 7 years old, and the rest of us the finer points of blowing the paper off of straws. Can you guess what I did next? Oh come on, of course you can! Yes, I went to the dog park with Ruth and Piccolo.
Monday morning I had a prenatal visit (no, not for me!) with my clients over in Montclair Village, in which resides a yarn shop (isn't the lamest website, I really don't see the point) so yes a visit ensued. Somehow three small balls of wool found their way into my arms - two in a deep purple and one in an off white, perhaps to be used together. They were, of course, on sale. Since all I had consumed up to this point was some coffee and it was now 1pm, needless to say some sustenance had to be put into this body immediately if not sooner. After which, yes, another trip to the dog park but today, just to break things up we went to Albany even though usually we reserve that place the weekend but the reality is I was cranky, tired and in no mood to go any further than absolutely necessary. Wyatt had a good romp, especially early on but found no one to play with despite various attempts on his part or other dogs approaching him. Nothing clicked for him, poor baby.
I thought I might nap but instead headed to the laptop to surf and write. The phone rang a little later with a call from a friend from out of town asking to get together. Sure I had intended to finish my paper but it is rare that I get to see her as she lives on the other coast. What a treat! Actually when I said to here that it was a treat to see her, she informed that me that I was quite gracious since she invited herself over up through spending the night. We stayed up quite late talking and she slipped out terribly early this morning without waking me at all.
So if you've been wondering where I've been and why there have been almost no posts here's part of the answer. I hope to do better but I cannot make any promises since TGF gets home tomorrow (YEAH!) but Thursday I go to my residential conference for school for several days. See y'all later.
As I mentioned in a recent post we walk at dusk one day on the weekend because the light shifts are just too mesmerizing. Yesterday was one of those days.
Here's is but one tiny example of why I am addicted to this time of day.
After the walk yesterday we went to dinner with Ruth. We tried to go to this place, but it was closed much to my chagrin. Another attempt to eat here will be made, I assure you, I mean Laotian and Southern? Wow. Odd as it sounds, aren't you just a bit curious about a dessert titled "white potato pie"? Even just a little? We wound up eating at Boran, which is reasonably priced, and the food was decent. Not orgasmic but tasty, particularly the pad thai - my standard on which to judge all such restaurants. Actually the pad thai was rather addicting in flavor. A little sweeter and a different tangy than others I've had.
The rest of our evening was taken up by going to see "The Pursuit of Happyness", which I thought was a misspelling at the ticket booth's signage but actually inside the theater saw that misspelling was intentional. TGF said she was sure academy nominations would follow because it had three things that Hollyw**d loves: true story base, a happy ending, and a cute kid. No doubt that kid is beautiful but unlike many movies that have a really cute kid Jaden does not steal any moments but is a nice compliment to Will. Will Smith does an incredible job in several places in this movie, especially at the end where all his acting is in his facial expressions - breathtaking.
I had gathered a very rough idea of the premise before seeing it as it's not too hard to guess from the advertising on television but I was not prepared for the grittiness of it. Smith's character, Chris Gardner, is beyond down and out at several points in this film, the ache of desperation and hopelessness was incredibly palpable, for me anyway. At the same moment I was feeling the pain of his situation, another part of my head was churning away - did he really not know anyone who could help out, nowhere at all to turn? No friends or family, save his son, were portrayed in the movie. For me, maybe because of my starving student persona of the moment I kept putting myself in his shoes just a bit, breathing a little harder thinking what could happen that would put me where Chris was, how long would it take to sink that far. Unlike the story I have friends and family who would do their damndest to prevent me from falling that far. Would I ask though, if it meant a choice between a shelter and asking for help, could I let people know I was down that far? I would like to think so, but even more before that I would hope I would figure something out before having to ask.
The character and I intersect in that he infrequently asks, and when he does so, it's forced, awkward and lacking any context. I think I try to put in the context when I have been in the position to ask, but more often I probably try to bury my shame in having to ask in convoluted statements about how I cannot believe I got myself in this mess, that this is not who I really am, I am not this aberration of myself.
We are always ourselves, even in our most imperfect and unrecognizable. It is possible that in those vastly horrid times, when we do not see the person we know we really are, that we are made stronger, an improved version of the self we long to embrace without interruption. Without the interruption however, how would we know our true resilience. If we are never tested how could we trust ourselves enough to know that we can get through those times when we slog through, with no end in sight, the misery we are steeped in. How else do we have the faith to know there is the other side if we have never proven it to ourselves during a test of our fortitude where we do not recognize ourselves.
In a blizzard of disappointment it looks like our Lighting Party won't be happening. I suppose it is not the worst thing as I apparently have the flu - one day before the dang thing.
Seriously I have felt like crap all day but I was totally ready, unless I felt much the same or -horrors- worse, to shop, clean and cook my meant for birthing babies eastern european hips off (this is my way letting the new readers know I am not some petite, fragile flower). I am still wanting laktes and sufganiot so maybe Friday or Saturday I'll get busy in the kitchen. Yeah I know the holiday is technically over on Friday but so what? I mean it's potatoes and grease there's always time for that in my book. I just found a recipe for apple fritters which is making my mouth water just a bit.
I have already looked up the dates for the holiday for next year and proposed a date. I figure a year's notice might work. What do you think? Yeah, me too, we make plans and the universe laughs.
Well I'm going to go get a big glass of sad and wallow for a bit and start fresh tomorrow.
I wish I could be witty for y'all tonight but it's just not flowing.
It has been a long time since I worked somewhere during the holiday season but given that I am still employed by The Agency, currently to work with Miss SoS, apparently it is still au courant to have holiday celebrations. Last week we picked names for "secret santa" gifting purposes. Before reaching into the hat (yes it was seriously a hat) I prayed that I would get someone I knew well enough to get something appropriate without resorting to a gift certificate. Luckily I got Moon, who I really like. I was tempted to get something from Good Vibrations for Moon because I thought it would be taken in good humour, but since it was to be a public event I vetoed my own idea. In the end I shopped at T*rget and choose a cool picture frame doodad that holds 4 photos.
The gathering was held at Unicorn, a restaurant I had been interested in trying for, oh, about 4 years, but had never gotten around to going to in all that time. Um, I had a lovely Chardonny/Viognier blend that was very tasty and a nice compliment to the dishes I tried, which was several! The food was really very good and it would be worth going back for a nice dinner date with TGF.
The sad times involves a friend of mine, one of the first people I met when I moved here. We clicked, I mean really clicked - it is rare that we can do a breakfast meet-up that takes less than 2 hours and it's been like that since our first meeting. She and her partner are in the process of splitting as I found out tonight. I feel so sad for her it actually hurt earlier, now I just wish there was more I could actually do. They have been together for about twelve years (if I remember correctly) and there are two adorable kids in the mix. As hard as my split was with CHL, it is impossible for me to fathom adding children into that sort of choice. As I have many friends with children, some of whom are not sure of their relationship it is so much easier to sit over here, childless and council about being happy as a valuable model to offer your children. Staying or leaving when one is not happy has an impact on children, certainly I know about that from my experience as the kids in the mix, but staying involves less change, a different type of adjustment - one that is quiet, a bit hidden.
Sending my friend a strong cyber hug.
Since yesterday I have driven over 150 miles and unlike living on the east coast, I never left the state. Hell I was only in two counties. Two counties, that's it!
My drive to Miss SoS's school is along Route 4 which is nice because part of the ride is just rural landscaping of undulating hills which are still dried straw coloured as the rains have yet to appear enough to bring the greening of winter. In the distance I get to see a piece of a small wind farm off to the south of the highway. Also along the route I pass an exit sign for the Port of Chicago which always disorients me when I come upon it. First, ports mean water and water is next to impossible to see or even smell so I find it odd to see a port referenced when there is nothing but dried out hills. Then there is the matter of "Chicago" not being in Illinois. Just freakish if you ask me, I mean this is California. Sure there are street in the Bay Area like Mississippi, Virginia, Alabama but Chicago? That's a city name, a city in the Midwest, ffs.
When looking up this Port on G**gle, a link popped up via epodunk.com, a favorite site of mine in part because the address amuses me (Yeah, I'm a nerd. What of it?) their city page had a link for wineries nearby and I admit, my face lit up a bit thinking I could combine some pleasure, partake of some lovely libations after a session. I click gleefully to find 26 wineries. Ah the pay off for all the driving to see my client who reads a bit like tourettes meets ADD meets bi-polar rage. Such nice thoughts I was having until I see that all of them are about 25 miles away and a serious deter between hell and home. Sigh. All drinking will have to be done closer to home. I guess it's safer that way.
Today I visited my client at home, not quite as long of a drive as yeste
rday or tomorrow, but damned if I don't need to add more gas to the Purple Beast again before embarking tomorrow. One good thing about this gig, I don't have to set an alarm or even contemplate awaking anything near the crack of dawn. So my late night ways continue. There are already some christmas decor snaking around the the television unit and presents have already begun to multiply in tribble-like fashion. For a child who hates to wait I cannot imagine the underlying torture being perpetrated by her grandmother. It will be really interesting to see how this unfolds.
My lovely partner had dinner ready to go when I walked in from the boonies, which was spectacular since I was starving. For breakfast I had coffee and a packet of instant hot cereal from Kashi, for lunch a can of soup with some crackers and now I had less than an hour before heading back out. Tonight I had an interview for my old work - a potential doula client due in early February.
For long time readers you may remember that I had gone through a purge of my birth books as an outward symbol of the changes in my world but I also have never said that I would not attend another birth. Yes, I was incredibly burned out but birth work is extraordinarily compelling. Witnessing a baby take her first breath is the closest thing to seeing g*d that I have had the honour of being near. Am I in love with this couple? No. I wish I was so that even if they choose someone else, I would touch that place inside of me again that loves that immediately with no expectations.
So our heroine is a bit tired and her tires probably need rotating.
*Nods to Gwendolyn for the title - it's one of her favorite phrases.
Today had silence, rowdy, rainy, mellow, and silly. This morning was quiet as we readied for our dim sum meet up. Ruth came by to leave Piccolo to keep Wyatt company while we went down to Oakland's China Town. At the last minute we heard that Sarah would be coming with Isaiah. As we found before the food at Legendary Palace is great and was surprisingly reasonable. The conversation was varied and lively which meant we were one of the last table in the section which they were breaking down for an event later in the day.
From there Greg, Janet, Ruth, TGF and I stopped by the house to pick up dogs and suit up with rain gear. I had hoped the weather would have been nicer to take them to Albany Bulb (these are older photos of art there, a lot has changed as is the wonderful nature of this place) but the reality is the spot has a distinct quiet charm in the rain. I had been waiting to take them there since we first began exploring this place some months ago. As expected they were alternatively amused and awed by the works displayed.
All of us were absolutely soaked when we returned home. No seriously! My pants were at least 3 inches longer because they were so sodden. This definitely called for another pot of coffee and that call was answered, thank you very much. A lot of laziness ensued. Dinner was breakfast: omelets and home fries. Pretty tasty if I do say so myself, though I wouldn't really because it might look like I am bragging, which I'm not. However, if I were prone to such vagaries I would tell you all that I am a damned fine cook and it has been really nice to remember that about myself this weekend.
Given that we watched Dogma last night, we decided to stick to that theme and watched Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. It is an amazingly stupid movie which some fantastic jabs are made at the industry, it is completely transgressive, and takes great pleasure in making fun of itself. I wish I could be more articulate but I'm tired, and I wish I could recommend the film to my dear readers, but I fear you might blame me for cursing you with images that will be burned forever onto your eyelids. This is not to say that many of you would not enjoy it, but I want to take no responsibility for leading you astray though some of you are already there (Rabbitch, JBeeky, among others).
* If you love the title, I'm wise for taking Greg's suggestion. If, on the other hand, you think the title sucks, blame Greg. Send him an email about it.
For the first time in dog's age, I cooked. I mean full out cooked and my feet are really aching but I am happy. Having company often inspires me because I love to feed people, the long standing food is love mantra, care taking and all that. Oh yeah, and I'm good at it.
TGF had decided she wanted to have turkey, even though we had "the dinner" at the appointed hour and all that. Wednesday night we purchased the bird after finding a suitably small fowl. Did you know that Costc* only carries the ridiculous size of 20 pounds? A size that Cooks Illustrated, my epicurean bible, clearly believes gives you a terrible turkey. I also had the dilemma that Greg is a vegetarian so I wanted to have enough other things for him to eat. Of course I did not decide on the rest of the menu until today, really mere hours before needing to shop for it.
Since I had trouble sleeping I was awake in plenty of time to have the turkey in it's brine by 6am. Yes I said 6am because I had what turned out to be an extremely unrealistic game plan. I decided on a cornbread dressing with green apples, cream of mushroom soup, homemade gravy, and because I knew I'd be exhausted from all that, salad because in the morning Greg whined something about vegetables. The nerve, I tell you. I had planned and shopped for apple crisp (from CI of course) but bagged that idea - waaaaay too ambitious. It will happen tomorrow or Monday.
By the way, it's called dressing because it is cooked outside of the turkey versus stuffing called such for the very obvious reason. At least that's what TGF says. Works for me. She was a little dubious about the addition of green apples to the holy trinity of cornbread, onion, and celery. Turns out her doubt and my concern were wasted moments of mental fodder. The recipe comes from Cooks Illustrated. It was so frigging fabulous! I am making more of it soon. I still have enough cornbread to do another batch.
I was inspired by the last episode of Top Ch*f when the winning dish with a cream of mushroom soup. But when I read the recipe online I was horrified by the quantity of heavy cream. Of course I consulted C.I. but two sources are rarely enough for me to make a decision about a recipe or more often what bits and pieces I will pull from. I found a recipe that sounded really good online and I did not alter it. Imagine that. A real winner also.
Starting later than I had hoped dinner came in stages, with me finishing the cooking the next "course" as folks ate, and ended very late it was great. After dinner and some basic clean up courtesy of Greg and TGF because as I said my feet - OW!! And I even wore shoes. We retired to the living room and are watching Dogma, perhaps my all time favorite movie. I mean I don't have singular favorite about almost anything but this film comes damn close.
It has been so wonderful having Greg and Janet visit, and more generally having company in our home, people who are engaging and fun. I must remember to keep extending invitations to people because I do like playing hostess.
Our kitchen table this morning before all the cooking began. BC knows I really like fresh flowers so she picked these up when we shopped yesterday for today's feast.
tten a bit charred and the would have been perfect; still they were quite tasty.
