Saturday, May 19, 2007

Blinded by the light

....of a job offer. Okay maybe more like a potential job offer. Not for me but for TGF.
In Ohio. Yes, yes, the state I said I would not move to, ever. Okay one of the states I have said that about but this declaration was made repeatedly and emphatically.

TGF has a son, like I have a daughter, not by blood, not through official channels but still a young person in our lives who we have taken a parental role with over a long period. Well he works somewhere (a large chain) that has a store opening (that I guess is sort of in his region), has pull (he is a very charming boy), and spoke to TGF about it yesterday.

In theory the store is set to open in late July but has been pushed back a few times. The timing could not be much worse for me as that is right at the height of work for Dance New England for me, right after the end of a school semester - in other words a mess.

This is very much like deja vu for me. Six years ago, almost to the month my ex applied for a job in California when we were living in Massachusetts. Memorial Day weekend 2001 she and I came out here for her interview and to check things out a bit. C left Massachusetts with 98% of our belongings in mid July while I stayed behind to finish getting the house ready to sell, went to Dance New England, and then I drove west after it was over. I've never seen the movie, but this is feeling a bit like Groundhog Day to me.

Nothing is written in stone, it's only been 24 hours since she was sort of offered the job, there are a ton of questions our boy and the business would need to answer but what a ride already.

The town where the store is scares the hell out of me. It's 95% caucasian. I have never live anywhere like that. There are about 12,000 people, so it's smaller than anywhere I've been and I could not find a synagogue in the town. As of a recent census there is 0.10% lesbian population. Read that again folks, one tenth of one percent! I woke up this morning saying it "why couldn't it be somewhere like Yellow Springs if I have to move to frigging Ohio." Well, actually we could move there as it's a reasonable drive to the job.

TGF's friend, and mine really, Jeriann is totally excited about this potential move as she lives nearby in Centerville. Jeriann was recently here trying to relocate with her company but just yesterday morning got the offer which made it a no go deal for her. We both talked to her about options. Then TGF got the job phone call while I was out. It took her over two hours after I got home to tell, and that after trying to figure out with Jer how to tell me about all this.

Just how did she tell me you might wonder. I came home, we had some dinner and were watching television. Then she says I need to run out and get a Mountain Dew. I did think it odd as it was after 8pm that she would get a "pop" but I blew it off. We are back to sitting on the couch, laptops engaged, television crackling. I see an email come through from her at about 8:40pm. The subject line is "Fwd: home" with a real estate listing link saying she sent it to Jer. How odd I think, Jer has a condo. "Why would you send that to Jer?" There is a very awful pause and a funny look passes over her face. "I got a job offer Ohio." Blown away I think begins to describe my reaction. Realizing this morning that Yellow Springs is a reasonable option as made this a bit easier for me.

There are some benefits to this, number one being she would have a job that could definitely pay our bills and we could start paying down the debt we have accumulated in the last two years. She is promising me that we would not stay there more than two years (think it would be longer but hopefully not more than four). We would still work on moving to the south, somewhere that will hopefully be our "forever" home. TGF is regularly homesick being here and has not fallen in love with California. We would be able to really get to know our niece, T'Mane which is really appealing. It would be lovely to be near Jer, but I would miss my friends here so much it's hard to breath if I think about it. I would be closer to the east coast so in theory between it costing less to fly and having money I might actually be able to see family and friends more.

Stay tuned. Follow the bouncing ball. Buckle up for the roller coaster. Start an office pool. Remind me to breathe.


Supee said...

I'll just put my head in the sand and pretend this isn't happening.....

heather said...


well, there are some charms to a small town. and it looks like the Sortof Big City isn't too far from yellow springs, if you need a fix. plus college towns usually have a good energy (at least in my experience).

good luck weighing everything, i know it's a huge decision. sending lots of good vibery as you sort though what's best for the both of you.

Kelly said...

Good luck with the decision-making process, Dharma. I'm sure you feel pulled in a lot of different directions.

Hang in there and I wish you both the best.

louisiana swamp rat said... I'm at a complete loss for words. What a weighty decision the two of you have before you...

We always start these life-changing decisions with a pro/con always helps.

Good luck -

wen said...

i used to live in ohio--both in cities and in small tows. :) what city is the store in (if you don't mind my asking)?

good luck!

and remember that many, if not most, decisions are reversible.

ohio can be really different from out here, but there are good people and decent things to do pretty much everywhere.

Jbeeky said...

I bet the housing is kick ass. Hardwood, detailing, built in cabinetry and the like. Nice lawns and folliage. And yes, you can change your mind. You can do anything for a year or two. Most important, how are the knitting stores?????????

Bitter Betty said...

The Universe is talking to you, darlin'. Make sure you listen to her.

Jennie said...

First, :(.

Then a little math: 0.1% of 12,000 = precisely one dozen lesbians.

Wishing I could turn the heat up under the 911 folks in SF...

Breena Ronan said...

The problem with Yellow Springs is that it is a no-growth kind of place, so comparatively the housing is really expensive. There are lesbians (mostly students) there though (at least there were when I was a student.) There are other pockets of coolness around there too, so you shouldn't feel like there is no hope of finding someplace you can handle.

wen said...

columbus has a really great lesbian community (especially at the ohio state university, where i did my masters). :) you can always commute for
when i was there there were more lesbian bars in columbus than there were in sf. seriously.

there are lots of concerts, there is queer stuff at the university, indie films, sports, pride (and glbt stores even). columbus actually has some good food, too.

yes, i like it better out here. i'm a coastal type. i need water! but lake erie is huge and will be a few hours away (go to mentor headlands up past cleveland).

it's way more liberal here. there are a ton of things i prefer about the bay area. but you will find some good folks back there, too.

and housing that is 'expensive' by ohio standards is cheap by ca standards. i remember my prof rented a place for $500 and we thought she got ripped off. lol. she was moving from california. that was 12 years ago, but still.

wen said...

just wanted to clarify: by 'commute for culture' i meant live near your work and take trips to columbus etc. for fun! :)

goblinbox said...

1. Change is good.

2. While preparing mentally for change is not always bad, stressing out is. Nothing's happened yet, so no need to get all deranged yet. Trust the Universe, it's a pretty cool place.

3. You'd be closer to me if you lived in Ohio. ;-)