Thursday, January 04, 2007

Haunted by amorphous anxiety

It could be the change of the calendar, another year gone and all that.
It could be aggregating of months without happy pills.
It could be that the end of the semester is close at hand.
It could be impending breaking point with my client.

On and off for several days my stomach has been in knots, I feel like my breath is constrained and I am paralyzed, unable to do school work that is looming like a stream train while I lie on the tracks.

Dramatic? Moi? Okay maybe once in awhile.

I keep trying to focus on the positives.
- The gifts are ready to go, not in the mail yet however they are not expected so it's really fine.
- The newsletter for BirthWays is the closet to on time for the first time in several issues.
- My progress notes for work - all caught up.
- School is actually really good, for me. Today in fact I sent in the last paper for an old class. Once that's reviewed and my work evaluated I will have completed another course! Which will make two courses finished, and just some more work (some work? Jeez, a lot of work) and another three will be done. If I can crank out one other paper than that would be six course down this semester.
- I had a really productive few weeks of knitting and only have a scarf to finish before TGF goes home next Wednesday morning. Of course I am itching to get other things on the needles but I can't yet.

Through all of that the sense of impending doom sits on my chest, twists my guts, and generally makes me miserable to live with, so send some love to TGF because she does live with me and you dear readers only have to read about it.


wen said...

It sounds like you got a LOT accomplished! Take time to bask in that (even if it's only 10 minutes). I, too, fall into the "too much to do" trap. My sister said it best, when she was about 5 or 6 "you could die around here before all the work is done." :) (We had a number of chores as

Have you tried EFT? I highly recommend it for things like this. You can do a basic tapping sequence ( that typically helps.

Then of course there's blogging--an excellent way to get support and let off a bit of steam. And meditation...take a few deep breaths and you'll feel so much better.

Big hugs to you! Don't forget all you've gotten done!

Anonymous said...

ditto everything wen said, except EFT which i know nothing about, but agree a stress reliever/calming trick is a good idea. so, cheers, and hugs!

Bitter Betty said...


Did it work?

Jennie said...

It sounds to me like you've gotten up quite a head of steam! I'm really proud of you. You can *so* do this!