In which our heroine clearly is no longer in Kansas (aka a blue state)

Wednesday (about 45 miles)

It’s a gray day but we are both jittery with excitement. We go to breakfast to get fuel for the day ahead and I call Janelee the Realtor to make plans. Even though I spoke her yesterday when she told me “Oh I can meet you at the house, you can sign the lease and I’ll give you the keys”, suddenly she was tied up until 4pm! WTF, you know? Ellie, TGF’s mom, had movers scheduled to meet us at 1pm to unload. I was so furious I couldn’t speak, really. This is after her waiting until Monday to tell us that we can’t get power on in the place without a lease because the current owner owes money, that water can’t be turned on until Thursday at the earliest. Did I mention she was a duel agent so she had all this information from the get go?

Then we headed to a Bob Evans (TGF is so happy to be back in the land of all these chain restaurants I can't even tell you!) to get food where a woman had three toddlers who took turns starting the next round of caterwauling. I thought I was going to lose my mind. TGF had to grab my hand to stop me from getting up to say something to the woman. “I wasn’t going to yell at her, clearly the woman needs help and I was going to tell her that.” Somehow that didn’t fly. When I am tired, low blood sugar or PMS I am very sensitive to sounds, that day I was all three so it was a real struggle.

Finally we hit the road, it is a gray and drizzly day. As we hit Dayton proper I am following TGF and have a sinking feeling based on way too many hours on Google maps that we are heading the wrong way. My phone rings and TGF confirms her misstep, I try not be grumpy. We agree to park the Behemoth somewhere so we can ride over in the car and scope out the best path.

As we first enter the St Anne’s Hill area I am heartened, happy even – it really is cute, a bit edgy but livable. Then we turn up Samuels Street and the happy, fluttery feeling starts to sink into a darker, worried place. The house is not set far back from the street, and I knew there were a number of properties on the block that were for sale. What I wasn’t as clear on is that they were almost all abandoned, empty buildings. TGF didn’t like that there were so many people home during the day. The place held potential but the neighborhood? Um, not so much.

Still hopeful we round up the truck, Ellie meets us at the house but by then we have made a decision to walk away from the deal. The realtor had been less than clear, withheld information, and the neighborhood would take far to long to turn around to be a good investment. We arrange for the movers, who were fortunately late, to meet us a storage facility near Ellie’s workplace. It was still raining and when we all are in the same place it becomes clear that the car dolly is not working properly so we cannot detach it, which of course we need to do in order to unload the truck into the last storage unit Mike (aka the Bear) had that was large enough for our vast quantity of stuff. Once again a call is made to Budg*t, who sends a tow out (I now have a special place in my heart for tow workers) after another hour or more wait. The car dolly definitely had problems and really I wish we could dispute the charge for the damn thing (our second one if you remember) but that would require energy.

In the meantime we converse with the movers, Justin (aka Boomhauer), John, and Matt. Boomhauer, like the character on King of the Hill takes some time to understand. Most people you can listen in a manner that is akin to skimming while reading, but our Boomhauer guy requires actually listening with intent until you get used to the speech patten. All three had varying levels of tattoos with Boomhauer having the most body art including a very bad neck tattoo of the number “13” surrounded by flames. You know the kind of flames, like the ones you see on cars only bad colour job. TGF and Ellie had taken the cats and some our belongings to the next motel in our tour while I had an enlightening if tongue biting conversation.

Finally the car dolly is off, the Purple Beast towed to the doctor’s office, and the rain stopped just in time for them to unload everything while I was wearing was soaked to the bone. I actually stopped to wring out the bottoms of my pants which were now about two inches longer than normal so I was consistently stepping on them. My cheap birks were wet and clammy, my blood sugar was crashing and I still needed to drive the Behemoth albeit a lesser one now that the dolly was gone back to the Mot*l 6. Eventually we finally we able to take off and went off to the Golden Corral for dinner. TGF was very happy. Did I mention that her palate has been heavily influenced by her southern roots and years in Ohio?

Thus my first day as a resident of Ohio comes to an exhausting and emotional end.