Supposedly these are good places for me to live

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Your personality type is SCUAI

You are social, calm, moderately unstructured, accommodating, and moderately intellectual, and may prefer a city which matches those traits.

The largest representation of your personality type can be found in the these U.S. cities: Providence, Austin, Denver, Salt Lake City, Charlotte, San Antonio, Albuquerque/Santa Fe, Indianapolis, Phoenix, Portland/Salem, Nashville, Louisville and these international countries/regions Turkey, Croatia, Slovenia, Caribbean, Puerto Rico, Iceland, Norway, Ukraine, Sweden, Denmark, Spain, Netherlands, Russia, Japan, India

What Places In The World Match Your Personality?
City Reviews at CityCulture.org

Well I have to say, I'm a bit surprised by the list of places the quiz came up with as few intrigue me at all. Providence, I think not, Austin - it's in Texas for cripessakes, Denver - eh, SLC -it is beautiful but a jewish/buddhist/pagan lesbian living there?, San Antonio - see Austin, Alb/Santa Fe - well that has possibilities, Indianapolis - are you nuts?, Phoenix - no, try Sedona, Portland/Salem - if it didn't rain so much up there, maybe, Nashville? see SLC, Louisville - which one?

Like Wen, from whence I stole the link for this quiz, I wonder how NYC and SF didn't score for me.

For other countries, Spain definitely has some appeal. Carribean - sign up me. The rest would be okay for a visit.

Now Charlotte is a least closer to what The Girl Friend and I are discussing. Got the Carolina part right. She is advocating Charleston, South Carolina. Of course, again I wonder at the life we might have there given we live in a gay mecca now, what's in Charleston for us?

Before Jennie and others get their panties in a twist, this is not an immediate plan, hell it's barely a plan. TGF feels like houses are too on top of each other here, we'd both like a larger plot of land than is easily attainable out here. Her concern is larger for Wyatt and herself. My concern is Wyatt, TGF's happiness quotient, and having more gardening, outdoor entertaining space, not necessarily in that order. Also, SC would be closer to our families, what with parents getting older, and T'mane (our niece, not her actually name) well, that's a feature for us to look at. TGF loves SC, I've only driven through part of it, but I'm game. Despite the quiz responses and my writing most of the cities off, there are really few places I'd absolutely refuse to live, at least for awhile. Any move is at barest minimum 2 years off, and probably more like 3-5. God, who ever thought I could even think in those terms. Planning the future like that is such a foreign concept to me.

Pink in in the House

I just clicked on this link through Diane, and WOW. I have always admired Pink, loved her first cd Can't Take Me Home- played it over and over. Her lyrics are not always easy, she didn't follow the formula of getting made pretty, she is strong and opinated. But THIS. This just sky rocketed my respect. This is just beautifully shot, the performance is strong.

Sunny Fights Back!

I just want to take this moment to acknowledge how far Sunny has come. Throughout this whole cancer journey she has impressed me beyond measure.

She is warm, funny, generous, passionate. She loves words, birds, comedy, improvisation theatre, and loves to dress up as you are about to see. She is a ham! Really.
A few weeks ago she didn't want to see herself without hair, and hid the spare remaining hairs from everyone. See for yourself how far she has come.

Works for me

Your Brain's Pattern

Your brain is always looking for the connections in life. You always amaze your friends by figuring out things first. You're also good at connecting people - and often play match maker. You see the world in fluid, flexible terms. Nothing is black or white.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Days of Whine and Cheese

So I'm not done.

Car rant:
Sunday we discover that one of the tires on the Purple Beast is almost flat. Do we have a spare in the car? Of course not. We decide to walk over to Costc* to see if they have Fix-a-Flat. However not long after we start about a one mile jaunt (after doing two laps at the dog park), TheGirlFriend says, "Hey, it's Easter Sunday! They might be closed." A quick cell phone call tells us that yes indeed closed. Good news, we saved ourselves a LOT of frustration and some good exercise - Bonus! Evalution shows that we can limp the Beast to a gas station and get air. Works. We continue in this fashion for the next few days.

Tuesday, in order to be safe I take the Cow (in our possession courtesy of Sue and Sarah) to drive to Jennie's so she can play hockey and I can hang with the now 6 YEARS OLD! Graham. Jennie stay late to hang with Liz and Andrea (who are awaiting the arrival of the most heralded baby ever!). When I get into my car at midnight (yes you read that right), it's dead. Yep, left the lights on - damned day lights savings. Good thing I have AAA. In true obssessive fashion I knit - there was enough street light. I almost finish a pattern repeat when the Nice Man with Charger Materials appears.

Wednesday morning, I take the Cow to get to supervision (don't EVEN get me started on how that went!) and TGF was going to get the flat plugged. While in the session from hell, TGF calls, leaves a message that says, no go on the tired, it's totally flat, on the rim, please call AAA. Oh good gravy! Well that changes plans a bit.

On the phone with a nice lady at AAA, she asks, "Did you already call today?". "No. Oh well I guess technically, yes, because it was after midnight. This is a different car. Not having a good time." Luckily I haven't reached my limit for calls to AAA.

Okay, we get the tire changed. TFG will take the tire to get plugged sometime soon. Then!! TGF goes out to Red Car to take Wyatt to the dog park, while I take PB to see my client. She comes roaring back into the house with this lovely announcement: "The radio has been stolen out of the red car!"

Three cars, three incidents in just over 12 hours. I think we are done, don't you?

Up Against the Wall

I am running smack into cultural/language issues with my very first client. It is a Latino family; the parents were born in Mexico. I believe all three children were born in here, certainly the middle child (my client) and the youngest were.

Cara, my client is doing very poorly in school, is a 14 year old bilingual female, who is very shy, not savvy about peer structures, and is very anxious about racial tensions and gangs at school.

I have brought up that I would like her tested for learning disabilities to rule them out (or in) in order to shorten the list of possible reasons for her school truancy (one of the primary factors that brought her to TBS). In late March I went to a parent/teacher night with the mother and saw an example of her writing – it was terrible, incomplete sentences, no relational construction, no paragraphs. She recently received a report card where she received a C+ in Advanced English and C- in English Language Development (and two "F"s and a "D-"). I had spoken at length with the ELD teacher who has no idea what happens in Adv English – I can’t begin to speak about how terrible this is in my mind. I notice that Cara doesn’t seem to process orally that well which could be because of only speaking English at school, or it could be something else. Her vocabulary is very limited, which does make some sense given that much of her conversing with adults outside of school is in spanish, but it's still a concern.

Yesterday in a meeting with her outgoing therapist, her WRAP coordinator and her mother I was told how bilingual folks have difficulties and felt like Cara’s poor showing in school (failing two classes, a D- in another as well as the above mentioned grades) is because of cultural issue and was given the feeling that it wasn't a concern. I was told about how there have been studies on this, as if I don't know about this. Yes, I was the only white person in that room. It may be the case that there are language difference because of her bilingual status but we have a girl about to flunk out of 8th grade and even if by some miracle she doesn’t she is woefully unprepared for high school. I was also told that a resource teacher that no longer works with Cara felt she was very bright, much smarter than many of her classmates. Given the school and city, I have to wonder about the expectations and whether she viewed Cara as a good student because she was well behaved. I felt so much like “The Gringa” who couldn’t possibly understand and that Cara was succeeding quite well given everything. So frustrating.

It was been a long time since I felt like the only white chick in a room, and you know, it hasn't gotten any easier. I felt myself undergoing so many different feelings in that room and since the meeting. I struggle with the language barriers, mom's english is limited, dad's is practically nonexistent - so it's hard to bring him into the treatment solutions. The cultural differences hit me in the face daily. The other team members keep telling me how hard it is for latina women to say what they need, like white women never suffer from that, like I don't know this about their culture and they have to keep reinforcing it. They really don't. I actually have some familiarity with other cultures, I really do. This is not to say I absolutely "get it", I can't, I was raised very differently. However there are points where we all intersect and I feel like that is outside their comprehension. I feel like they think because I'm white and have some education that I always spoke my mind, that I was never shy, that I was never misunderstood, never had stereotypes applied to me. Yes I am white and speak english, but am I also jewish, lesbian, raised in a non-traditional family, had family secrets to keep, had expectations applied to me that had nothing to do with me - argh I can't even articulate what I want to say about this.

I guess I am having difficulty seeing my successes with this family right now. This work is very intensive given that I see my client usually 4 times a week, for at least 2 hours each meeting. I work very hard to amend my vocabulary, speaking style and speed (I tend to talk fast - blame it on being a New Yorker by birth) every minute I am with them. I work very hard to balance creating a bond with them with working therapeutically. I struggle to come up with creative interventions and meaningful rewards (this is cognitive behavioral after all - sigh) while working with a teen who is apathetic a great deal of time.

Consider this long pity party/whine post.


*Not her real name.

And this is where we differ

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I am Gourmet Girl

Take the 'What Kind of Girl Are You?' quiz at CookingToHookup.com

The Gourmet Girl is a Foodie with a capital F. All her activities seem to revolve around food, even when she's on vacation. She'd prefer to be mushroom hunting, sampling the wine country, or making a culinary tour of the South of France with the Michelin restaurant guide tucked under her arm. Or she might just rent a villa and spend the entire time in the kitchen, cooking elaborate dinners for friends and family.

Here's the key to the Gourmet Girl: she's a connoisseur. She appreciates the finer things, and she'll gladly pay more for them. She will shell out $1.59 for a blood orange instead of 69 cents for the navel variety, and it's not because they are fancier and more expensive. She doesn't care about status or prestige. For the Gourmet Girl, it's all about quality. She selects cars and clothes -- anything she buys -- based on how well they are made. While the Uptown Girl may sleep on high-thread-count, all-cotton sheets simply because she always has, the Gourmet Girl does it because, like The Princess and the Pea, she can feel the difference.

She Might Be a Gourmet Girl if:

1. She drives: a practical car, often higher end. Japanese or European, but always highly rated (Gourmet Girls do their research). Volvo, Volkswagen, Honda, etc.
   
2. She can talk for more than ten minutes about: The difference between a California chardonnay and a French sauvignon blanc.
   
3. She begins her sentences with: "Jeffrey Steingarten says..."
   
4. She'd never: drink wine out of a box.
   
5. She owns any of the following: Kitchen Aid mixer, a complete set of All Clad pots and pans, Silpat baking mats, tins of foie gras she brought back from France.

This should make TheGirlFriend Hapy

You Belong in London

A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock. A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything. No wonder you and London will get along so well.

What City Do You Belong In?

Mystery Projects & Musings

I am knitting. I swear. But they are surprises so I can't say much. One is going beautifully! Gosh I wish I could post something more about it. The other, well, not as well. With the help of The Girl Friend a pattern was decided on, attempted but it wasn't moving me. One, it wasn't an easy flow to remembering the pattern, two it didn't seem to be working. So frogging I awent. I have found a new pattern to use that is simpler. Sure the first one is beautiful but I'd rather not take 6 months to finish it, you know?

So two secret projects. Need to start the next one for The Most Adorable Niece Ever (TMANE). I will post photos of her in the first sweater soon. TGF had a wonderful trip home and has a TON of photos of our T'mane.

I have started pouring over yarn porn dreaming of the right yarn for our friend Ruth, Piccolo's mom. I know the colours I would like, I even have a basic idea of the kind of project and pattern I would like - I probably have it saved somewhere already.

Then my dear friend Lisa Geiger (she no longer lives in Sweden but in the Boston area and is the best chiropractor -EVER) and her amazing son Jacob were just here and alas! she is allergic to wool but she is an easy target for acrylic. However I would much rather make something luscious out of rayon or silk for her. Although looking at my stash, which thanks to a reminder from Jennie I realize is pretty sizeable given I haven't been knitting very long and am so broke, I found some wonderful pealized kind of cotton I have that I can perhaps whip out a quick hat with to send to her. Or maybe something else {rubbing my hands together with a glint in my eye}.

Jennie suggested that I make something for myself but that still hasn't happened yet. Knitting is like cooking for me. It's another art form of sorts for me and I like giving away my art. I have found that I am fed substantially by my cooking, when I'm really into it, in a way that means I eat less. I also get such joy out of making an object and passing it on.

My first venture into knitting 2.5 years ago I made:
1 scarf for my sister Hannah
1 scarf for my then sister in law
1 scarf for my then partner
1 scarf for my friend Michelle
A beret, scarf and bag set for my then mother in law
1 scarf for a lover
I think that was it.

This go round so far:
1 ear warmer/headband for TGF
1 hat and scarf set for TGF
1 hat and scarf set for Jeriann- that has to be sent!!!!
1 baby sweater from hell for the teddy bear
1 pair of booties, just for fun
1 beret for Sunny
1 pair of ankle warmers for Sunny
3 chemo hats for Sunny
1 scarf for Sunny
1 sweater and hat for T'mane

In the works: 2 items for 2 people, 1 outfit for T'mane, a vague idea for Ruth, a vague idea for Lisa, mother in law requested a hat - need to see if I have any good yarn for that,
and a cat bed for my beloved Niya who is in my ex's custody - need to buy some wool good for felting for this project.



Yes, I have lots of patterns lying around and saved on the web that are earmarked for me, but well, do you see this list? The truth is that I love producing things for others. Sure, I am sure vanity queen that I am I would also love the ohs and ahs I would receive for wearing things I made. I do look forward to that day, but somehow knitting love into things and passing them on to people care for, well that feeds me in such a wonderful way that I am rather hooked on it.

I'm pretty happy about this result

Which Western feminist icon are you?

You are Angela Davis! You were the THIRD WOMYN IN HISTORY to appear on the FBI's Most Wanted List. You are a communinist, black power-lovin' lady who shook up the United States when you refused to lie down quietly to oppression. You WENT TO JAIL! Wow. You kick so much more ass than Foxxy Brown.
Take this quiz!








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With hours to spare

I finished the Most Adorable Niece Ever's sweater! with hours to spare. In classic fashion I had totally let go of the fact that it required buttons. Monday night I had declared that I would simply (yeah right, where are the buttons?) find something from my various stashes. Then yesterday I thought well, I could just stop at Skein Lane and see if something strikes my fancy. Yeah any opportunity to fondle yarn. I found buttons almost instantly - a great match.







Now of course I am not totally pleased with this sweater, because well it wouldn't be me if I could ignore the flaws and simply take pleasure in the fact that I finished it, that the yarns match so well, that the buttons are delightful, that I finished on time. No that would be, oh I don't know, mature, nonobsessive, someone happy to have finished her second sweater EVER. I followed the pattern, I really did. But the sleeves seem funky. There are very narrow at the cuff and widen considerably, though barely enough to match the arm holes in the body. The shape is not graceful. I shot the photos around the misshapen extensions that pose of sleeves..
Yes, that is a photo of The Most Adorable Niece Ever in the background.

Before I could take those photos, however I had to remove Miss Joia from the sweater, she was totally smitten with the yarn! See for yourself.


So now I have nothing on the needles!!! I finished The Girl Friend's hat that matches the alpaca scarf. I need to get photos of those up, but she just left for Ohio at the butt crack of dawn (Hi Andrea!) I have a project in mind for this yarn, a lacy scarf, but shhhh, it's a surprise for someone.

Oh and when Puppyman and I got home from SFO, I lay down begging for sleep because I am still pretty sick when I realize that TGF forgot to grab the matching hat for Leigh (TMANE), and that the set I made for Jeriann! ARGHHH. This is why I like making lists. Oh sure TMANE won't notice but her parents and grandparents would be so delighted by it, and since I am terrified the sweater won't fit, ever, the hat at least will at some point. As for Jeriann, it just would have been nice for one of us to see her face when she got the stuff. Of course I will also cast on for TMANE's next outfit. Oh yeah, and I have another surprise planned but I need to find a pattern, like now!

Off to search.

Breakthrough Crying

I hate that leaky eye syndrome that occurs when you are mad, indignant, whathaveyou. It happen the other day for the first time in a long time, in that place where you dread such behaviors - work.

Wednesday was supervision, and Joanne wanted to work on my notes since there’s a learning curve with knowing how the county wants you to phrase things and other nonsense about not using words like “talk”, “conversation”, instead using phrasing such as “collaborate”, “modeled”, and “role-played” to describe what you do with clients and their families. Now I know I have some distance to go at improving my notes, I only starting writing them as of like March 10^th. Joanne saw that part way through I was getting very frustrated at the tracking of our meeting.

Finally, when she pushed just enough, well, I let her have it. Really. Last week she disclosed she hadn’t read any of my notes, and it seemed clear that she still hadn’t. Also last week she brought up a complaint by another worker/supervisor type who apparently indicated I had refused to do something. I told her that I felt much ignored and felt like showing me other people’s notes was not an efficient method for getting me to improve my notes, using my material, using my client. Basically asked her how she could know where I needed improvement if she herself hadn’t read them. I have not received one sentence of critique on my notes, not one! I have to write a note for every single time I see my client. I see her at least 3 times a week, usually 4. That’s a fuck of a lot of notes without a response, dontcha think? I do. Most folks, definitely I need to know what we are doing well in order to be invested, not just told about all the areas that need improvement. As to M’s complaint it was so vaguely worded that I felt I had nowhere to go other than to tell Joanne that I was certainly there had been a misunderstanding.

But was I able not to tear up a bit during this highly appropriate, well articulated complaint. Nope! I hate that. I really do.

For her part, Joanne apologized for everything and that evening emailed me a number of notes with her comments and suggestions. Wow. Yee Ha! Much easier to see what I need to do, so much more willing am I to make corrections when those comments include statements like “great intervention”. She also said that she wished she had handled the incident involving M very differently. Again, yee ha.

I still owe notes. Wednesday and Thursday have to be in by Monday. But now I feel much better about writing them, even if I don’t enjoy every beleaguered moment of time in front of the computer wondering how many ways I can say the same thing.

Because they are important

I am posting a number of links that are important. If I wasn't sick, if I was as eloquent as the sources, if I didn't have a million words to write by June, if I didn't owe progress notes I would write something brilliant, outraged, uplifting about each of these things.

The military is up to it's usual in being a dangerous training unit helping to create and justify homophobic behavior because I don't know about you but I never heard a word about this until today (granted I've been slacking on my blog and webnews reading). Thanks to Diane for pointing this out.

I really do have a lot to say on this topic, but I really don't have the energy. Thanks Molly for bringing to a wider audience.

Thanks to Twisty, I recently became aware of Kourtney. I am not a devotee of the L-Word, because I don't pay to have Sh*wtime, I have seen portions of it when I have been places that have that channel (for me, Six Feet Under would have been a reason to subscribe, if I had been able. Most importantly though I will never rent the dvds either because what I did see was horrible, except for Pam Grier who I love. Truly bad, the sterotyping was wretched, the blandness of the characters inexcusable, and the absence of anyone remotely looking like the lesbian/dykes/queers I know. For example, did the producers never meet a butch? But reading this, just put it on my banned for life list.

One of my best blog friends, Ancrene Wiseass, brought another horrendous crime that touches on race, gender, class, sexuality, athletics over academics - just everything! I told her I would link this on my site, and am finally getting around to it. Upon first reading, I had hoped, honestly I admit it, that it was an urban legend kind of this, a wild night spun out of scale with reality. But no, it's real. I even saw it being covered on CNN today, but I didn't have the stomach to stay tuned for it.

I implore you to play this video clip - it's inspiring. If only real people, people with real power spoke like this. It was so well done that even The Girl Friend left the clouds of her own laptop surfing to listen. We were both moved. Thanks Arse Poetica - another blog pal who never fails to make laugh, or enrage me, either way I just love her stuff.

I had many thoughts reading Susie Bright's take on the JT Leroy debacle. Go to January 8th 2006 "You're No J.T. Leroy - Thank God". It was so interesting to read someone's person relationship to the imaginary author, to view Susie's vulnerability up close. It brought up so many thought sabout our society's bizarre fascination with the freak, the "young genuis", why we don't value the artistry of writing enough that Laura could have just written a great work of fiction and published it as such.

There's so much more but I'm feeling worse, it's late and I've bored you enough for one evening.