Now, now, get your minds out of the gutter. Well this time anyway {grin}.
I went to get my hair cut, going back to this lovely Aveda salon (a big treat) for a trim and brow job (again, read carefully without your mind in the red light district, for now).
I had debated forgoing this extravagant foray but my bangs grow so damn fast and I'm heading out of town and, well as Glamour Girl says - I'm vain and shallow. Most of these folks I only see once a year, if I'm lucky, so I want to try to look decent.
This is a new salon in a complex that is only partially built, mostly empty, that bills itself as a live/work complex in the relative countryside of Clayton. Near the salon is a large cafe that was empty both times so I have no idea how it stays in business.
Anyway, last time I sauntered over and bought a flavored latte to go, something I don't usually get. Today I strolled over, deciding to sit a bit and flip through a magazine while I sipped my vanilla nut latte and nibbled a chocolate chip cookie.
So how is this event, getting a haircut a fantasy? When I go there, I imagine that I am a lady of leisure, getting just a little primped because it's my standard appointment, versus the one where I the full service: a massage, a facial and who knows what else. Oh, maybe getting my gray hair colored! In my fantasy it's just the first stop of a day that includes drifting hither and yon, shopping, browsing, meeting friend for lunch before heading home to browse expensive catalogs, check my email which is bursting with witty notes and invitations to wonderful parties.
In reality my splurge with tip came to less than just the haircut would cost me in Berkeley. In truth I came home to walk the dog; finish ripping up carpeting, tact strips, and staples off my hall stairs- working up quite the sweat; doing my push-up program (more on that later); tending to animals, ignoring laundry and working on Dance New England. Glamour my ass.
See? Total fantasy.
Showing posts with label fantasy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fantasy. Show all posts
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Will you still love me when I'm 64
Perhaps it is an gnawing awareness of my advancing age but I have been thinking a lot about sexuality and aging. Maybe it's just I like thinking about sex. Whatever.
As someone who has a rather large repertoire of fantasies, activities and such, I wonder how physical age impacts things like, oh flexibility of limbs and stamina. But also, it feels easy to suspend reality now, preferring to get a thrill out of TGF's steadfast proclamations that butches flirt with me right and left, some day, real flirtations or (mostly) imagined, that will dwindle to nothing and I will be invisible. Now, it's easy to role play being a oversexed teen but will it become unbelievable even to the two of us twenty years from now? Will different fantasies replace them, do fantasies age with us or in contradiction to the sags, the wrinkles, and a youth that is scores away.
My sexuality is a powerful force in how I view myself in the world and I am wondering how that may change when my juiciness fades literally (hello menopause), or perspectively by becoming less noticeable to others because while I "walk around with it", I do rely on others' noticing, which I believe a lot of us do. I do think as mentioned in the above link, I will keep my sense of humour, inner poise and it is highly unlikely my sizable ass will ever be lost (because lord knows I've tried a hundred times to lose that thing!), there is a more intangible "it" that is related to allure, sex appeal, seductiveness that it hard to find examples in "a woman of a certain age" (at least in this country, if one believes the link, which inspired dreams of becoming an ex-patriot in Paris in my later years), and that is what I worry about disappearing.
In many ways my sexuality is at an all time high in terms of its rawness, accessibility and expression because TGF and I work so hard to explore boundaries, push limits, expose our emotional life to each other with depth and honesty which results in an incredibly hot and often vulnerable relationship. Perhaps that is part of why I am thinking about these things because I am want to hold on to this thrall, I want to hold on to the intimacy we have been building, and there are about a hundred fantasies I still want to act on, and I suspect many will be repeated. That's a lot of sex in my future.
I suspect in a few years, what will change for certain and for true is I will be spending a lot more money of lubricants.
As someone who has a rather large repertoire of fantasies, activities and such, I wonder how physical age impacts things like, oh flexibility of limbs and stamina. But also, it feels easy to suspend reality now, preferring to get a thrill out of TGF's steadfast proclamations that butches flirt with me right and left, some day, real flirtations or (mostly) imagined, that will dwindle to nothing and I will be invisible. Now, it's easy to role play being a oversexed teen but will it become unbelievable even to the two of us twenty years from now? Will different fantasies replace them, do fantasies age with us or in contradiction to the sags, the wrinkles, and a youth that is scores away.
My sexuality is a powerful force in how I view myself in the world and I am wondering how that may change when my juiciness fades literally (hello menopause), or perspectively by becoming less noticeable to others because while I "walk around with it", I do rely on others' noticing, which I believe a lot of us do. I do think as mentioned in the above link, I will keep my sense of humour, inner poise and it is highly unlikely my sizable ass will ever be lost (because lord knows I've tried a hundred times to lose that thing!), there is a more intangible "it" that is related to allure, sex appeal, seductiveness that it hard to find examples in "a woman of a certain age" (at least in this country, if one believes the link, which inspired dreams of becoming an ex-patriot in Paris in my later years), and that is what I worry about disappearing.
In many ways my sexuality is at an all time high in terms of its rawness, accessibility and expression because TGF and I work so hard to explore boundaries, push limits, expose our emotional life to each other with depth and honesty which results in an incredibly hot and often vulnerable relationship. Perhaps that is part of why I am thinking about these things because I am want to hold on to this thrall, I want to hold on to the intimacy we have been building, and there are about a hundred fantasies I still want to act on, and I suspect many will be repeated. That's a lot of sex in my future.
I suspect in a few years, what will change for certain and for true is I will be spending a lot more money of lubricants.
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