BC came up on Thursday about noon. In a horrible imitation of all the sappy movies ever shown on L*fetime Telev*sion, I actually came running out the front door to greet her. Yes, I know, it's sickening but after all the craziness of the day before, and three weeks apart, well I was happy to see her.
Even though she had to work, we went to grab some food at the Gilded Otter, and before she settled down to her computer she gave me my first gift - chocolates. And not just any chocolate, but locally made in Cleveland and a hand picked by her assortment which meant half a pound of it was dark chocolate covered caramels. Dinner was a simple trip into town to a Thai restaurant. When we came home, I made a fire and she gathered up blankets for us to lie on. Then she presented me with the rest of my gifts. First was a tiny packet of those infamous candy hearts, so cute. Then a small box that contained a beautiful necklace, a sterling silver mezuzah pendant. This is one of the most touching gifts I have ever received. Following this were three pairs of lacy thongs by one my favorite brands, Felina. Finally an absolutely gorgeous bra and underwear by Chantelle, an new favorite of mine, in a very dark blue and a very graceful lace pattern. The rest of the evening went as one might imagine given a fire, a quiet house alone in the country after three weeks apart.
The next day we met Greg for lunch at the Main Street Bistro, which was so good we thought we might go there for breakfast before she left on Sunday morning. Soon she was back at work. Upon my experience and Greg's recommendation I returned, this time with her to the Northern Spy where we had a very good dinner.
Saturday I took her for my intensive one mile walk which climbs 200 feet in that time. It was good to see that she felt it, which encouraged me that I am not a total wimp. We decided to wander around town and see what there was to gaze upon. We wandered in an independent bookstore, which taught us more about each other; a runner shop, where she found some nice accessories; a hippy shop where we found earrings for me and a great tye dye for The Kid. Finally in the end we wandered into Water Street Market where we had a fun looking a number of shops. We were both heavily tempted by the hand hammered singing bowls from the Himalayan Shop. Finally we were entranced by the many artists at Eden, at least that's what I think the name is. I want to go back, often because there is so much to look at. Again here we learned more about each other's tastes. In particular we were both charmed and enamored by Sticks work. Also there was Elliott Metal Art that was compelling to both of us. There was a lot of great jewelry, and of course I looked at most of it but one artist was unique and grabbed the attention of both of us, in the end I left with a ring by Christophe Poly that I am very happy with. After much indecision and the randomness of the universe we would up at an amazing place in town for dinner. Since it was Valentine's weekend they had a special dessert on the menu - two red velvet cupcakes served on a platter slathered with ganache. What a lovely and unique couple dessert.
On Sunday after breakfast at the Bistro (this place is truly awesome) BC left and I crashed, fairly literally. I took a huge nap, went to sleep at a reasonable hour, and on Monday I felt so drained, low energy. Upon reflection there was so much going on that I needed to recover from. Except for a five minute conversation with the snow plow guy I had not talked face to face with anyone from Friday afternoon until she arrived so I suspect I was a bit on overload. Also our time together was amazing, close, easy, romantic and I felt totally open. Usually after time together I have been traveling to other people, never having a lot of silence, this time there was nothing but me. I have not mastered this transition yet, it is still new. Rather than berate myself for not doing more, I did what I was moved to, gave myself the grace of finding my way again.
Today, I was much more on target and despite another set back with the car (the emergency brake would not release, ending my plans to work at Sunny's) I regrouped quickly, felt back in my pace. I am still learning so much about myself through this time. At this point I am my third week of doing my morning pages as part of my work with The Artist's Way and I keep digging around, finding interesting things that are living in my brain. Sometimes it feels like doing therapy with myself and it blows my mind. There are mornings I wander around after finishing my three journal pages saying Wow a lot. It's good. I'm good. Life is good. BC and I are good.
Showing posts with label valentine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label valentine. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Hardly what I would call a holiday
It can't be an ordinary day because everywhere you turn there is a reminder that you are supposed to expect or provide romance, jewels, or at least a roll in the hay, especially if you usually don't roll. But it really is an ordinary day that should only be remarkable if one is truly inspired not because the calendar tells you marking your love is important today, like a "one day sale". Although given the date is in honour of two Catholic martyrs perhaps it is a form of sweet justice that so many rush around, feeling stress, and others have expectations unmet.
The day became associated with romantic love in the High Middle Ages when courtly love was popular. Courtly love. Elitist much? No wonder there is so much emphasis on spending money for this "holiday". I have been single, miserably partnered, and happily partnered on this day, depending on the year. In my relationships I have never stressed the importance of this day, preferring that the everyday, random display, the one that comes because my lover is simply moved to act is compelling, more romantic. Does this mean I am not charmed and immensely pleased on the chance that the someone happens to chose to display their affection on February 14th? No, it's a special treat, but only because I have conditioned to think so, not because it actually is a treat. The treat is in the act, not the date.
It is one the events on our calendar that stresses the primacy of couplehood versus being single. I have a number of friends who are single, usually relatively happily so but yet the fourteenth of February leaves many of them and other uncoupled folks grumpy, claiming to hate this day, or even dare I say expressing bitterness. Really I can't blame them, especially because I recognize myself in their utterances. Today I am in a good, strong relationship but that doesn't mean there isn't a part of me sitting in that room with those single people because society places an unfair burden of explaining of their state because the norm for this culture is to be partnered. It treasures romantic love above all other forms, except probably parental love.
This is a discussion that occurred on an email list I am on several months ago. It stemmed from the final episode of Will and Grace which showed their friendship crumbled and in the past while each were happily married. Not surprisingly we did not come to any paradigm shifting conclusions but a lot of interesting things were said. Recently there was a thread on soul mates: do they exist, does the concept harm us, can we have more than one, more than one kind. I think they do exist, I know I have more than one, and more than one kind. My friend Greg is definitely a soul mate. Sometimes I have met someone and felt an instant connection, a sense of "knowing" them previously. They were a type of soul mate in that I was meant to meet up with this person. Forever? Probably not for most of them.
There is a bit of that sense with TGF in that our connection was so deep, so fast. We met via an email list, not a hook up site at all. After a few short months we met in person and though it's hard to convey my visceral response I will try. Her face did not surprise me. Yes we had sent a few photos (how else do you meet a stranger in an airport?) but it wasn't that. It was her facial expressions, the way she looked at me - I felt naked in a very emotional way that weekend. I felt like I knew her. Those few days took me though more emotions than I usually experience in a month. Does that make her my soul mate? It is not a label I have used to describe though after writing the above, I wonder why not.
My friends are extremely important to my well-being, just as is TGF. Maybe next year I will have party on valentine's day that is all about friends and love but not romantic pairings, celebrate the other relationships that are just as important to feeding our souls. Being one half a romantic pair is not the only reality out there but it often feels like that is the only thing admirable. Especially today.
The day became associated with romantic love in the High Middle Ages when courtly love was popular. Courtly love. Elitist much? No wonder there is so much emphasis on spending money for this "holiday". I have been single, miserably partnered, and happily partnered on this day, depending on the year. In my relationships I have never stressed the importance of this day, preferring that the everyday, random display, the one that comes because my lover is simply moved to act is compelling, more romantic. Does this mean I am not charmed and immensely pleased on the chance that the someone happens to chose to display their affection on February 14th? No, it's a special treat, but only because I have conditioned to think so, not because it actually is a treat. The treat is in the act, not the date.
It is one the events on our calendar that stresses the primacy of couplehood versus being single. I have a number of friends who are single, usually relatively happily so but yet the fourteenth of February leaves many of them and other uncoupled folks grumpy, claiming to hate this day, or even dare I say expressing bitterness. Really I can't blame them, especially because I recognize myself in their utterances. Today I am in a good, strong relationship but that doesn't mean there isn't a part of me sitting in that room with those single people because society places an unfair burden of explaining of their state because the norm for this culture is to be partnered. It treasures romantic love above all other forms, except probably parental love.
This is a discussion that occurred on an email list I am on several months ago. It stemmed from the final episode of Will and Grace which showed their friendship crumbled and in the past while each were happily married. Not surprisingly we did not come to any paradigm shifting conclusions but a lot of interesting things were said. Recently there was a thread on soul mates: do they exist, does the concept harm us, can we have more than one, more than one kind. I think they do exist, I know I have more than one, and more than one kind. My friend Greg is definitely a soul mate. Sometimes I have met someone and felt an instant connection, a sense of "knowing" them previously. They were a type of soul mate in that I was meant to meet up with this person. Forever? Probably not for most of them.
There is a bit of that sense with TGF in that our connection was so deep, so fast. We met via an email list, not a hook up site at all. After a few short months we met in person and though it's hard to convey my visceral response I will try. Her face did not surprise me. Yes we had sent a few photos (how else do you meet a stranger in an airport?) but it wasn't that. It was her facial expressions, the way she looked at me - I felt naked in a very emotional way that weekend. I felt like I knew her. Those few days took me though more emotions than I usually experience in a month. Does that make her my soul mate? It is not a label I have used to describe though after writing the above, I wonder why not.
My friends are extremely important to my well-being, just as is TGF. Maybe next year I will have party on valentine's day that is all about friends and love but not romantic pairings, celebrate the other relationships that are just as important to feeding our souls. Being one half a romantic pair is not the only reality out there but it often feels like that is the only thing admirable. Especially today.
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