Another layer of reality

Last Sunday TGF and I went through every room (although we very briefly tackled the garage - yeech is that a mess and maze) verbally saying what would stay here and what would go with us.

Later, I took pictures of my beautiful desk and the bedroom set that we had decided to sell. I had gone back and forth about the desk because I really love it but it's big and very heavy. It was purchased from Fenton MacLauren on College Avenue in Oakland a few years ago. It is my second largest purchase (aside my house) ever. Originally it was about $900 but like cars most things depreciate as soon as they leave the showroom. Truthfully it was still in very good shape amazingly enough given that TGF would occasionally fed Gracie on it {ahem!}.

Apparently others agreed with me because I received a number of responses to my craigslist ad.
Nice huh? I included other shots of it but I don't want to bore, or tempt, anyone. One really nice guy showed up Wednesday night to see it but he had a valid concern about the pull out keyboard top - not a lot of room for keyboard and mouse because of the really lovely drawer. I got it to work for me but with the wireless keyboard TGF set up it was really tight. He was clearly torn because he appreciated the beauty of the piece. Oh well. At least I got a real bite, right?

Then Thursday night a couple came to look it. They hadn't found a bank on the way over so wanted to know if they should find a bank first. I laughed and said, "How about you see it because no point if you don't want it". But apparently they did because they left to find a bank. When it took some time I thought perhaps they changed their mind and again I thought well I have another person scheduled to see it in the morning. Then there was a knock at the door. Cold harsh cash! My asking price and everything.

Well today was the scheduled move so immediately upon rising I headed upstairs to empty the desk. The reality gathered, hanging like fog from the ceiling as I took out my origami cranes that Carolyn sends every year with her camp registration. Moving from Massachusetts to two different locations in California I still have most of these miniature cranes. This year she used the camp flyer and made one large with two tiny ones for my collection. As I pulled out my rubber stamps and old memo books, all Dance Camp supplies, out the fog settle lower. Collecting the files out of the drawer, unplugging the printer, the mist started hitting my face.

It's all getting faster and faster, and we both have procrastinating tendencies and up heaving our lives is certainly something one would like to avoid. However the desk is now gone so one step closer. Next Saturday is supposed to be our tag sale though I am wondering how we are going to pull it together. My flight to the east coast is late evening on the 16th (yes a red eye, sigh, but that gives me Friday in my old hometown). My return home is on Tuesday, September 4th. Our house cooling party is on the 8th - by the way, if you haven't received an invite, email me. I really tried to hit everyone. We haven't picked a take off day and we haven't lined up a moving company but we really need to soon. All of the above is only part of the massive to do list facing us.

The sadness that washed over me during the final stages of clearing out the desk. I took a few breaks during that simple task because it was emotionally challenging. Of course part of it was selling the desk truly is a sacrifice because it's a beautiful piece and I really loved it. Deeper is the tangible quality that empty space in my office represents. An empty space to be filled with boxes, our live compartmentalized for moving most of the way across the country. We don't know where we are moving to because we haven't found an investor for the property we have picked out. It's all this blank space in front of me. Some days it feels daunting, others exciting.