Showing posts with label exhaustion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label exhaustion. Show all posts

Friday, November 14, 2008

Sometime I will write about deep thoughts

This job thing is kicking my butt and I have big ideas when my mind drifts (which it really shouldn't while at work but does), only to get home way too tired to write anything coherent. My bookmark folder, writing ideas, is bursting with links stored for anywhere from a day all the way to over a year ago I'm sure.

Some subjects/link titles that are rummaging around in my brain:
  • Prop 8 and the racism overtones
  • "Girl crush"
  • Nebraska Safe Haven Act
  • My Dog, My Daily Zen Lesson
  • Push Presents
  • Living in A Porn Driven, 'Look at me' Culture
  • Purity Promise
  • Age and my life choice
  • Pregnant Men
  • Knitting projects

Tonight I went to the South Park Tavern for the first time since early September. Isn't that sad? It was nice to see some friends, the jukebox was often too loud, some good local political/social debates, silly talk, and getting to newer to the neighborhood folks.

I hope this weekend to sleep in, get a lot of knitting done, cuddling with Her Geekyness, and some quiet brain time. Big goals here people.

See you tomorrow!



Monday, November 03, 2008

First day in an office and a real job thing

Tuesday I received a call from Work Place Group (the infamous temp agency) about a job that I interviewed for back in April. To say that I was ambivalent might be a bit of an understatement. For better or worse even though it was a temp to hire assignment they decided not to try me out due to my job commitments to NCDC in June, and DNE in August. But it's six months later, we are broke, and there are lots of hungry furry mouths to feed. Also soon after I came home from the interview TGF came home unexpectedly - she had been fired. The company is clearly trying to lower the bottom line as three people in three different stores had been dismissed. To further see that saw, she had seen the writing on the wall she had applied to several jobs last weekend and received a call to schedule an interview, which happens tomorrow.

Wednesday they called to tell me the interview would be on Thursday morning with the CEO (!!!). Also I was told there were three candidates. Okay. A bit after noon I spoke with Work Place Group to let them know the interview went fine and found out the last interview was at 2:00p.m. At 4:15 my phone rang with the job offer, and a start date of today.

The company is an Association Management company with about sixteen associations. My job is working as the event planner for four of these associations. Two of the firms are local remodeling associations, one is involved in pest management and the most exciting one is an entrepreneurial group that JP (who I'm taking over from, he's been promoted) can be a bit like herding cats.

I get there this morning bright and early (which hurts so bad) and find that I am already on the updated phone/office map list and on the chart of the associations and their team players. What?!? It's feeling like I'm hired, not a temp who might be offered the job. There was a deadline today for an award whosit which meant folks from the remodeling firms where stopping by with their portfolios and JP was introducing not as a temp but as the person who would be taking over the reins. On one hand it was kind of cool, like they had faith or at least hope that this arrangement would work out. On the other, I was thinking, "hey I thought we were just dating!".

There is a ton to learn (acronyms galore!), relearn (Access), and programs I know next to nothing to not a damn thing about (Outlook, PowerPoint, InDesign). In a way it felt oddly familar and almost comfortable, like using muscle you forgot about and finding it worked pretty well. Most of the actual events sound boring, different from the other event/conference work I've done which is different. I'm used to being excited by the majority of my work and not sure whether I can get excited by events I do like organizing things well.

Right now I have a horrible headache, probably caused by trying to look over JP's shoulders while he navigated things, using a CRT screen rather than a flat screen, end of a cold, and being up too early. I'm tired, trying to remember anything I learned today, and totally confused about the concept of having a job. So how was your day?

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Little things can make all the difference

Catching up on Twitter this morning (I started this post days ago!)and found this was written on Sunday , (so glad I didn't miss this - made my sleepy rainy morning):

Sarah Sloane fortryll I swear @dharmawrites is one of the coolest people ever. Too bad Dayton OH is so far from DC!

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Rain, Roads and Raper, Oh My!

Tuesday Iowa to Indiana (385) miles)

During our stay in Davenport TGF better to not totally push ourselves to make Dayton on Tuesday and stay the night at Jeriann’s. The idea of unloading to Jer’s 2-bedroom condo on the third floor of a walk up to share her space with her, our nephew Cody (almost 13 years old) and three cats with our crew just did not seem to be a great idea. And then there was the prospect of whether or not we would find somewhere to park the Behemoth at her condo. TGF picked Richmond Indiana, which is just across the border from Ohio and not far from Dayton proper, at our goal. It all seemed very doable, less mileage then the day before so a breeze, right? Not so much.

One of the great things about this part of the country is how far one can see ahead, and on either side of the road. In the early afternoon I could see rain falling far off in the distance, a sight I hadn’t seen in years and years. I first remember seeing this phenomenon when I was a child visiting my grandfather in Florida. It completely floored me how one could “see” rain from so far away, that one could see it but not be in it. That vision on nature is right up there in awe factor with the first time I clearly remember seeing the rays of the sun streaming down and when we drove through a cloud in Montana.

We were cruising along quite nicely when we hit our first real traffic tie up of the entire trip. I kid you not. There had been an accident which held up traffic for close to a hour, during which time we crawled along when we could drive. Cody called me during this time and we chatted about school and his Wii game, which helped to pass the time. We had all made plans to meet in Richmond for dinner because he could not wait to see us. I began to worry about making good time so as not to keep them out to late, it being a school night and all.

The traffic did let up but the light rain and darkened sky soon descended which slowed things a bit, but not as much as the crazy construction combined with rush hour traffic. It’s true the traffic is laughable when compared with the Bay Area but Indianapolis in dark light, rain, driving a Behemoth and having no idea when the lanes are going switch up on you, and the damn bumpiness of the road, well frankly it sucked big time!

Once we got onto 70 proper it was better, though it seemed to take forever for that to happen, but then we had no idea what exit the Mot*l 6 was at and there were no signs. When I finally saw a mileage sign that said 36 miles to Richmond I thought I would cry because after days of travel, the rain, the dark, and horrible suspension of the Behemoth I was beyond done with driving. I chanted and cursed my way through the last leg of this day. I played cheerleader and the team in need of cheering. Every time a bridge or an overpass appeared I bit my lip in order not to cry at the jarring section of road ahead.

I kept searching the billboards that popped up but when a series of them appeared in the distance I had hope that one would be blaring a Mot*l 6 sign however what I saw instead was what looked to my tired eyes to be the equivalent of a visual stutter – they were all blaring advertisements for a Tom Raper who apparently sold RVs, maybe something else. I really don’t know because I was so annoyed at his total domination of air space and not one of them was telling me when I could stop driving that I couldn’t read them. Finally I found a sign for another chain, called TGF to tell her I was going there, that I didn’t care anymore, I just had to stop driving. Soon after I saw that that very same exit led to the holy grail of motels for this trip. To say that I was happy, relieved, or even ready to collapse is only to scratch the surface of my emotions.

Soon after we met up with Jeriann and Cody for dinner which was really nice diversion. Afterwards we crawled in bed and looked forward to the conclusion of our journey.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Is this what a hangover feels like?

It was a terrible night for me. Three bad dreams in one night, seriously! I woke up totally raggedy, hazy, and thought, I think this must be what a hangover feel like. No, I have never been hung over. And no I am not a tea totaler. I have drunk a fair amount in my past, a much bigger drinker in my youth than these days. Now it takes some time to get my tolerance up but it's not something I strive to do. Really I have never woken up feeling like the lights are too bright, every noise is too loud and dog assed tired after drinking. Perhaps after some other, ahem, interesting nights but not because I drank a lot.

The dreams faded one by one in terms of clarity. By the time I finally dragged myself out of bed after dream three and proceeded to make coffee, quite clumsily I might add, the images faded. The details, the actual quotes blew away like the seeds from dandelions in a wind storm. It reminded of when Piper goes "orbing" but stumbles once returning the "real" world, to recall anything about it.

The first dream was kind of like fun and bizarre Fellini ride with two odd, sort of homeless like men attaching themselves to TGF and I. We wandered around and I know there were interesting conversations that occured. But suddenly it all went very badly. I was experiencing a total mental breakdown. Going crazy was a physical as well as psychological experience in the dream. It was a weird awareness of knowing I was totally losing control. It was very unpleasant.

Next up was an odd phone call with my brother. I haven't actually spoken to my brother in years. No real reason, he just isn't very social and a workaholic who makes a fortune. There is eleven years between us and he has a twin sister who he gets all his sibling needs met through. My sister and I do stay in intermittent contact. Anyway, he has been on my mind because we are considering asking him to be an investor in our our first house flip. In the dream he alternated between friendly and a bit suspicious - even asking me if I had an ulterior motive for calling. In addition there were times it seemed like he left the phone putting our sister and then our father on. Very weird.

The last dream was like a really, REALLY dark episode of Charmed, complete with an evil spirit taking over a character who might have been a bride. The bride character was a cross between Piper and my dear, dear friend Abby. I was trying stave off chaos, discovery of a dead body and saving the bride. The finale was me trying everything I could think of to reawaken the good spirit in the bride to save her and everyone from impending doom. In involved a spell (go figure) that used the word Maderia, or Medera? Not sure but I think if was supposed to be the name of a woman. Oh yeah and there was a black lacy veil which I danced with when everything was righted.

One of these days i might get a restful night of sleep. It's something I get about every 3-8 days. The rest of the time I wake a lot, have too many dreams to feel rested, or something. Like waking up at 6am after falling asleep after 1am - that was the other day, maybe Saturday. Yeah Saturday I got up and worked. Sent 30 work emails by the time TGF got up. Those commercials with Abraham Lincoln and the beaver really touch a nerve, let me tell you.