Reading the comment that my buddy Bitter Betty wrote on the last entry was the final prod I needed to post again to update for y'all. (BTW you should visit Miss Betty - she's freaking funny!)
First, thank you to those who wrote.
Two, if I were truly self aware (for the two people in this world who think I am) I would have just kept my frigging mouth shut the other night.
Three, even in the midst of all that (which did continue quite a bit the next day thank you so much brain!) I was aware of some of the causes of the grand descending of my mood.
3a. biochemical (guess what appeared today!)
3b. my new semester started yesterday
3c. cellular memory - it's two years since I ended my longest relationship
3d. my loan check has not appeared which adds to my financial stress
3e. my mother is coming to visit which is great but still stressful (you should see the list of projects I want done before she appears in, oh, less than 3 weeks)
There is probably more but I think you get the idea.
And really it has been exceptionally beautiful out. And warm. I mean really really warm!
In other news, you may have read on TGF's very dusty blog about some of the difficulties we have been having with Wyatt. This "issue" of his has resulted on him being on leash a lot while at the dog parks we frequent. Yesterday the "Easy Walk Harness" (for the dog! not that kind of harness - that's another post all together!) arrived, so I walked him to the BART station to met TGF after phase frigging FOUR for this damn potential job (but I digress). It was so easy I almost cried. TGF didn't even think I had him with me when she caught sight of me, thought I was holding a bag or something. Today I tested at the Albany bulb - again great, fabulous. Truly some of the best money EVER spent. Highly recommended. Of course I would still like to know what else we could do to bring back our happy, social pup. Any suggestions happily taken into consideration. He is fine with people, it's other dogs, aside from BFF Piccolo, that are the problem. Actually he is the problem - he has gotten aggressive and cranky with 90% of other dogs including ones he formally played with. It really has been quite distressing not to mention creating a lot more work rather than play for us humans. We are considering a muzzle so that we can be a little more relaxed and also to return to Point Isabel on occasion.
Okay, I'm off to start the blizzard of cleaning or school work that awaits.
Showing posts with label albany bulb. Show all posts
Showing posts with label albany bulb. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Monday, February 19, 2007
A rose is a rose is sometimes a peony
Today I noticed something interesting while driving in the hell traffic of 80/580 from the Bulb to avoid the San Pablo Avenue stop and go traffic. That worked really well. Not. Glancing up from my sock knitting (going slow in size 1 needles) I see a bright blue Mini-Cooper with a customized license plate. Not too long ago TGF had mentioned that she didn't see a lot of personalized plates in California and I posited that it could be that license plates stay with cars in this state. At least that's what I heard once upon a time. Struck me as silly especially since states usually charge extra for plates like ASTI4EVR (an actual plate). But this Cooper had one of those plates with the icons, in this case the heart icon with these letters afterwards Y-O-N-I (The link may not be considered work-safe for many folks though it is artistic.) My immediate thought was 1- how ballsy (no pun intended), 2 - must belong to a dyke. Yes I was stereotyping but seriously.
I mention the plate to TGF who turns to me with a bewildered look on her face. It occurs to me that she has never heard of yoni. Given my excursions into early lesbian/feminist writings, and my later explorations of eastern religions I was very familiar with both the spiritual as well as the more "we womyn are so peaceful and vegetarian, and sing folk music" (yep another stereotype but work with me here).
Once again I marveled at how different our exposure was to various lesbian cultural language, experiences, and readings. I devoured Lesbian Poetry, a book I have no recollection of buying but obviously I got it somewhere. It is still on my book shelf upstairs I believe. Quite the classic, I assure and nothing TGF would have ever read so really no surprise that the license plate was meaningless to her.
As the wikipedia entry points out yoni really means something different than vagina but the word has moved, in a fashion, from the sacred to the profane (a book from my undergrad days that may also still be on my bookshelf) in meaning. Of course there is also the possibility that it means something else entirely for the owner of that car. But still. It's like Chevy Nova not working in Spanish language countries since no va means it won't go. Not a great label for a car. Akin to the Ford acronym created but anti Henry folks- FoundOnRoadDead. I used to have a file of all those car acronyms for car makes - cracked me up. Bet it's still on the web somewhere. But I digress. Where was I? Oh yes, at how different the cultural references can be even inside of a subset of society, like lesbianism. TGF is not the first person who is a peer regarding age, age at coming out, etc with whom I had different reference points with. Music, writings, magazine, festivals can all differ even with several points in common. Fascinating, no? Okay, maybe just to me.
I grew up reading Ms. magazine while TGF probably barely even heard the word feminist even whispered in the hallways of home or school. I never went to Michigan Women's Festival but not because it was beyond my knowledge base or desire. TGF? I am pretty sure she found out about it around the same time I did, maybe even sooner, but so not her scene. She was far from the only young woman she knew who was sleeping with women in high school. None of my friends copped to it. Alix Dobkin is unknown to her, whereas I spent the night at her ex-husband's house, made friends with her daughter and heard her perform at some festival or other. I love learning where she and I intersect, where our cultural references are new pieces of information for the other one.
The driver, by the way, was apparently male.
I mention the plate to TGF who turns to me with a bewildered look on her face. It occurs to me that she has never heard of yoni. Given my excursions into early lesbian/feminist writings, and my later explorations of eastern religions I was very familiar with both the spiritual as well as the more "we womyn are so peaceful and vegetarian, and sing folk music" (yep another stereotype but work with me here).
Once again I marveled at how different our exposure was to various lesbian cultural language, experiences, and readings. I devoured Lesbian Poetry, a book I have no recollection of buying but obviously I got it somewhere. It is still on my book shelf upstairs I believe. Quite the classic, I assure and nothing TGF would have ever read so really no surprise that the license plate was meaningless to her.
As the wikipedia entry points out yoni really means something different than vagina but the word has moved, in a fashion, from the sacred to the profane (a book from my undergrad days that may also still be on my bookshelf) in meaning. Of course there is also the possibility that it means something else entirely for the owner of that car. But still. It's like Chevy Nova not working in Spanish language countries since no va means it won't go. Not a great label for a car. Akin to the Ford acronym created but anti Henry folks- FoundOnRoadDead. I used to have a file of all those car acronyms for car makes - cracked me up. Bet it's still on the web somewhere. But I digress. Where was I? Oh yes, at how different the cultural references can be even inside of a subset of society, like lesbianism. TGF is not the first person who is a peer regarding age, age at coming out, etc with whom I had different reference points with. Music, writings, magazine, festivals can all differ even with several points in common. Fascinating, no? Okay, maybe just to me.
I grew up reading Ms. magazine while TGF probably barely even heard the word feminist even whispered in the hallways of home or school. I never went to Michigan Women's Festival but not because it was beyond my knowledge base or desire. TGF? I am pretty sure she found out about it around the same time I did, maybe even sooner, but so not her scene. She was far from the only young woman she knew who was sleeping with women in high school. None of my friends copped to it. Alix Dobkin is unknown to her, whereas I spent the night at her ex-husband's house, made friends with her daughter and heard her perform at some festival or other. I love learning where she and I intersect, where our cultural references are new pieces of information for the other one.
The driver, by the way, was apparently male.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Sunset walks & Contemplation
As I mentioned in a recent post we walk at dusk one day on the weekend because the light shifts are just too mesmerizing. Yesterday was one of those days.
Here's is but one tiny example of why I am addicted to this time of day.
After the walk yesterday we went to dinner with Ruth. We tried to go to this place, but it was closed much to my chagrin. Another attempt to eat here will be made, I assure you, I mean Laotian and Southern? Wow. Odd as it sounds, aren't you just a bit curious about a dessert titled "white potato pie"? Even just a little? We wound up eating at Boran, which is reasonably priced, and the food was decent. Not orgasmic but tasty, particularly the pad thai - my standard on which to judge all such restaurants. Actually the pad thai was rather addicting in flavor. A little sweeter and a different tangy than others I've had.
The rest of our evening was taken up by going to see "The Pursuit of Happyness", which I thought was a misspelling at the ticket booth's signage but actually inside the theater saw that misspelling was intentional. TGF said she was sure academy nominations would follow because it had three things that Hollyw**d loves: true story base, a happy ending, and a cute kid. No doubt that kid is beautiful but unlike many movies that have a really cute kid Jaden does not steal any moments but is a nice compliment to Will. Will Smith does an incredible job in several places in this movie, especially at the end where all his acting is in his facial expressions - breathtaking.
I had gathered a very rough idea of the premise before seeing it as it's not too hard to guess from the advertising on television but I was not prepared for the grittiness of it. Smith's character, Chris Gardner, is beyond down and out at several points in this film, the ache of desperation and hopelessness was incredibly palpable, for me anyway. At the same moment I was feeling the pain of his situation, another part of my head was churning away - did he really not know anyone who could help out, nowhere at all to turn? No friends or family, save his son, were portrayed in the movie. For me, maybe because of my starving student persona of the moment I kept putting myself in his shoes just a bit, breathing a little harder thinking what could happen that would put me where Chris was, how long would it take to sink that far. Unlike the story I have friends and family who would do their damndest to prevent me from falling that far. Would I ask though, if it meant a choice between a shelter and asking for help, could I let people know I was down that far? I would like to think so, but even more before that I would hope I would figure something out before having to ask.
The character and I intersect in that he infrequently asks, and when he does so, it's forced, awkward and lacking any context. I think I try to put in the context when I have been in the position to ask, but more often I probably try to bury my shame in having to ask in convoluted statements about how I cannot believe I got myself in this mess, that this is not who I really am, I am not this aberration of myself.
We are always ourselves, even in our most imperfect and unrecognizable. It is possible that in those vastly horrid times, when we do not see the person we know we really are, that we are made stronger, an improved version of the self we long to embrace without interruption. Without the interruption however, how would we know our true resilience. If we are never tested how could we trust ourselves enough to know that we can get through those times when we slog through, with no end in sight, the misery we are steeped in. How else do we have the faith to know there is the other side if we have never proven it to ourselves during a test of our fortitude where we do not recognize ourselves.
Here's is but one tiny example of why I am addicted to this time of day.
After the walk yesterday we went to dinner with Ruth. We tried to go to this place, but it was closed much to my chagrin. Another attempt to eat here will be made, I assure you, I mean Laotian and Southern? Wow. Odd as it sounds, aren't you just a bit curious about a dessert titled "white potato pie"? Even just a little? We wound up eating at Boran, which is reasonably priced, and the food was decent. Not orgasmic but tasty, particularly the pad thai - my standard on which to judge all such restaurants. Actually the pad thai was rather addicting in flavor. A little sweeter and a different tangy than others I've had.
The rest of our evening was taken up by going to see "The Pursuit of Happyness", which I thought was a misspelling at the ticket booth's signage but actually inside the theater saw that misspelling was intentional. TGF said she was sure academy nominations would follow because it had three things that Hollyw**d loves: true story base, a happy ending, and a cute kid. No doubt that kid is beautiful but unlike many movies that have a really cute kid Jaden does not steal any moments but is a nice compliment to Will. Will Smith does an incredible job in several places in this movie, especially at the end where all his acting is in his facial expressions - breathtaking.
I had gathered a very rough idea of the premise before seeing it as it's not too hard to guess from the advertising on television but I was not prepared for the grittiness of it. Smith's character, Chris Gardner, is beyond down and out at several points in this film, the ache of desperation and hopelessness was incredibly palpable, for me anyway. At the same moment I was feeling the pain of his situation, another part of my head was churning away - did he really not know anyone who could help out, nowhere at all to turn? No friends or family, save his son, were portrayed in the movie. For me, maybe because of my starving student persona of the moment I kept putting myself in his shoes just a bit, breathing a little harder thinking what could happen that would put me where Chris was, how long would it take to sink that far. Unlike the story I have friends and family who would do their damndest to prevent me from falling that far. Would I ask though, if it meant a choice between a shelter and asking for help, could I let people know I was down that far? I would like to think so, but even more before that I would hope I would figure something out before having to ask.
The character and I intersect in that he infrequently asks, and when he does so, it's forced, awkward and lacking any context. I think I try to put in the context when I have been in the position to ask, but more often I probably try to bury my shame in having to ask in convoluted statements about how I cannot believe I got myself in this mess, that this is not who I really am, I am not this aberration of myself.
We are always ourselves, even in our most imperfect and unrecognizable. It is possible that in those vastly horrid times, when we do not see the person we know we really are, that we are made stronger, an improved version of the self we long to embrace without interruption. Without the interruption however, how would we know our true resilience. If we are never tested how could we trust ourselves enough to know that we can get through those times when we slog through, with no end in sight, the misery we are steeped in. How else do we have the faith to know there is the other side if we have never proven it to ourselves during a test of our fortitude where we do not recognize ourselves.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
The last walk of the year
A few weeks ago, because of a timing snafu that involved some ridiculous errand or something, we met Ruth very late for our almost daily dog walking date. As a result we discovered that walking by the bay near dusk is incredibly beautiful - sometimes soft like an impressionist painting, sometimes almost haunting with gray tones draping over San Francisco's skyline.
The other day I received an invite to join some friends for a matinée kung fu movie on Sunday, the offer suggesting that things would end early enough so people could still do their New Year's Eve partying. As if, we had no plans at all for the evening. I responded that we would be taking our last sunset dog walk of the year, implying that this plan could be seen as a bit sad. Sad as in we are such boring folks we would be walking with our dog rather than a spur of the moment movie. My friend replied that is wasn't sad at all, and she was right. It is a lovely thing these late afternoon walks.
Yesterday was rather gray all day while Saturday had been beautiful and I was feeling that perhaps we chose the wrong day to do our sunset walk. By the time 4:00 p.m. rolled around, the sky had brightened just before calling it a day. The colours were muted with the last shafts of mid-winter light slicing through and hitting buildings, random locations on the water creating jewel-like sparkles. We strolled, talking about random topics when Ruth said she wasn't going to be sorry to see 2006 end. I am not good at summing up the calendar year but there were things to be happy about, beginnings, endings, and cycles of the year that are comfortable in their consistency, seasons shift, holidays and birthdays appear. Softly but with strength TGF stated that 2006 was first full year {as in calendar} we had been together, just us, as a couple. A very brief pause settled over us, I could find no words to express the love I felt in that sentence. Ruth quietly said that that certainly marked 2006 very differently and was a good thing about the year.
I have to agree.
The other day I received an invite to join some friends for a matinée kung fu movie on Sunday, the offer suggesting that things would end early enough so people could still do their New Year's Eve partying. As if, we had no plans at all for the evening. I responded that we would be taking our last sunset dog walk of the year, implying that this plan could be seen as a bit sad. Sad as in we are such boring folks we would be walking with our dog rather than a spur of the moment movie. My friend replied that is wasn't sad at all, and she was right. It is a lovely thing these late afternoon walks.
Yesterday was rather gray all day while Saturday had been beautiful and I was feeling that perhaps we chose the wrong day to do our sunset walk. By the time 4:00 p.m. rolled around, the sky had brightened just before calling it a day. The colours were muted with the last shafts of mid-winter light slicing through and hitting buildings, random locations on the water creating jewel-like sparkles. We strolled, talking about random topics when Ruth said she wasn't going to be sorry to see 2006 end. I am not good at summing up the calendar year but there were things to be happy about, beginnings, endings, and cycles of the year that are comfortable in their consistency, seasons shift, holidays and birthdays appear. Softly but with strength TGF stated that 2006 was first full year {as in calendar} we had been together, just us, as a couple. A very brief pause settled over us, I could find no words to express the love I felt in that sentence. Ruth quietly said that that certainly marked 2006 very differently and was a good thing about the year.
I have to agree.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Really touched
Yesterday as we were loading ourselves into the car after a romp at Albany Bulb with the ever lively Wyatt a really sweet thing happened.
(Yes all of his paws are off the ground in this photos. Lucky shot.)
TGF realized that she was missing her head band thingy that I made
for her. She left us to go look for it. I had thought, oh well I need to make her a better one. No biggie. She returned rather quickly with a smile on her face. It seems someone had already found it and had placed on the gate. It turns out that TGF is sentimental! She really was concerned that she had lost the head band because "it was the first thing you made for me". Awww. How sweet is that? I mean I really never took her as sentimental. TGF said, Of course I am, I'm southern! You go to cotillion and get your sentimental badge." Me, I was thinking good motivation to get started on some new ones that fit better and really do the job of keeping her ears warm.
In the future I plan to make her this one from Garn Studio, which is a great site for pattern hunting.
This one below is from t
he new knitty that I spoke of the otherday and looks really cute.
This other design would look cute in the Elsbeth Lavold Silky Wool, in colour #31 I have in my stash. I bought two hanks of this stuff during the closing sale at Skein Lane. The colour is SO her I had to buy the measly two hanks left because I figured there would be something I could do with it.
The reality is she will soon (okay, defining soon is tricky) have three more of these beasties and yet it seems she will cling to the measly early knitting of her partner.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Dogs in the Rain*
Today had silence, rowdy, rainy, mellow, and silly. This morning was quiet as we readied for our dim sum meet up. Ruth came by to leave Piccolo to keep Wyatt company while we went down to Oakland's China Town. At the last minute we heard that Sarah would be coming with Isaiah. As we found before the food at Legendary Palace is great and was surprisingly reasonable. The conversation was varied and lively which meant we were one of the last table in the section which they were breaking down for an event later in the day.
From there Greg, Janet, Ruth, TGF and I stopped by the house to pick up dogs and suit up with rain gear. I had hoped the weather would have been nicer to take them to Albany Bulb (these are older photos of art there, a lot has changed as is the wonderful nature of this place) but the reality is the spot has a distinct quiet charm in the rain. I had been waiting to take them there since we first began exploring this place some months ago. As expected they were alternatively amused and awed by the works displayed.
All of us were absolutely soaked when we returned home. No seriously! My pants were at least 3 inches longer because they were so sodden. This definitely called for another pot of coffee and that call was answered, thank you very much. A lot of laziness ensued. Dinner was breakfast: omelets and home fries. Pretty tasty if I do say so myself, though I wouldn't really because it might look like I am bragging, which I'm not. However, if I were prone to such vagaries I would tell you all that I am a damned fine cook and it has been really nice to remember that about myself this weekend.
Given that we watched Dogma last night, we decided to stick to that theme and watched Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. It is an amazingly stupid movie which some fantastic jabs are made at the industry, it is completely transgressive, and takes great pleasure in making fun of itself. I wish I could be more articulate but I'm tired, and I wish I could recommend the film to my dear readers, but I fear you might blame me for cursing you with images that will be burned forever onto your eyelids. This is not to say that many of you would not enjoy it, but I want to take no responsibility for leading you astray though some of you are already there (Rabbitch, JBeeky, among others).
* If you love the title, I'm wise for taking Greg's suggestion. If, on the other hand, you think the title sucks, blame Greg. Send him an email about it.
From there Greg, Janet, Ruth, TGF and I stopped by the house to pick up dogs and suit up with rain gear. I had hoped the weather would have been nicer to take them to Albany Bulb (these are older photos of art there, a lot has changed as is the wonderful nature of this place) but the reality is the spot has a distinct quiet charm in the rain. I had been waiting to take them there since we first began exploring this place some months ago. As expected they were alternatively amused and awed by the works displayed.
All of us were absolutely soaked when we returned home. No seriously! My pants were at least 3 inches longer because they were so sodden. This definitely called for another pot of coffee and that call was answered, thank you very much. A lot of laziness ensued. Dinner was breakfast: omelets and home fries. Pretty tasty if I do say so myself, though I wouldn't really because it might look like I am bragging, which I'm not. However, if I were prone to such vagaries I would tell you all that I am a damned fine cook and it has been really nice to remember that about myself this weekend.
Given that we watched Dogma last night, we decided to stick to that theme and watched Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. It is an amazingly stupid movie which some fantastic jabs are made at the industry, it is completely transgressive, and takes great pleasure in making fun of itself. I wish I could be more articulate but I'm tired, and I wish I could recommend the film to my dear readers, but I fear you might blame me for cursing you with images that will be burned forever onto your eyelids. This is not to say that many of you would not enjoy it, but I want to take no responsibility for leading you astray though some of you are already there (Rabbitch, JBeeky, among others).
* If you love the title, I'm wise for taking Greg's suggestion. If, on the other hand, you think the title sucks, blame Greg. Send him an email about it.
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